This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.
Question:
What do I do about the rush ninja? You know who I mean…its that guy in the fraternity who snuck his way in through rush and pledgeship, and came out a total asshole who causes girls to leave parties and in some cases brothers to go inactive.
Answer:
I have never heard the term fraternity rush ninja – it is pretty funny. Unfortunately, we are all familiar with this brother.
He got his bid during fraternity recruitment over a lot of objections from a lot of brothers because an influential brother labeled him a diamond in the rough. That brother convinced everyone he deserved a chance. During his new member period, he kept his nose down and the brothers didn’t like him, but didn’t have the heart to kick him out.
Next thing you know, he is the brother that no one is proud of. His values don’t match those of the brotherhood. He isn’t friends with the brothers and is the source of 90% of the drama in the fraternity. So what do you do?
The very first thing you need to do is have a private conversation with him. Men discuss things in hopes of settling their issues privately. You don’t have to accuse him of anything, just explain how his actions (be specific) have made YOU feel.
Hopefully, he will appreciate the conversation and modify his behavior. If he doesn’t, then other brothers should have the same conversation with him (privately one on one).
At this point he will realize that he has to change. If he doesn’t change, then the chapter will have to kick him out of the fraternity.
Before you start the process your fraternity has for expelling a brother, you better make sure that everyone feels the same way you do. This is obviously a big step and should not be taken lightly. I would first make sure the executive board is aware of the issue and let them take the lead on it.
I realize that expelling a brother is tough. No one likes to be the bad guy and kick a guy out. If this guy doesn’t meet your values, and is holding your fraternity back, then it is really your only option. Trust me though, removing this cancer from your fraternity will make it a lot stronger. It will also ensure that this type of attitude and behavior doesn’t spread.
This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.
To learn more, check out our most in-depth article on fraternity recruitment: The Complete Guide to Fraternity Recruitment.