My Fraternity is Ripping Itself Apart

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.


I am currently the fraternity president. At the moment the fraternity seems to be ripping itself apart. We are the smallest we have ever been and we have some very strong personalities in the fraternity who think they are right and everyone else is wrong.

People are fighting over stupid things and have turned many forms of communication we use as a chapter into a way to fight with each other. What should I do?


This is such a broad question that it is very difficult to give a complete answer. I’d be able to provide a more complete answer by discussing this one on one. If you or anyone else in this situation wants to discuss it privately, use the contact us tab to send me an email.

That being said, there are three things that I can recommend that I know will help you.

First off, you need to be sure your brotherhood agrees on what your fraternity is all about. You will have big problems if some brothers think you are about developing leadership, while others think you are all about partying, and others think it is all about community service.

As president, you need to have candid conversations both one on one and in group settings about what each brother is looking for in the fraternity. You cannot possibly lead an effective fraternity unless you know what your brotherhood is looking all about…

Next, after your brotherhood agrees on what your fraternity is all about, you need to remove the brothers who don’t agree with this new vision.

This will be difficult, especially for a fraternity that has low numbers. I promise you that a brotherhood that is in complete agreement with the mission of the fraternity will grow stronger and faster than one that doesn’t have that unity.

Finally, you need to make sure the brotherhood always has something they are looking forward to.

Your fraternity will become very stagnant if the brothers are never enthused about the next event or the next program. There always needs to be something that motivates the brothers and has them excited about the future.

I hope this helps. If anyone else has any ideas you’d like to add, please use the comment section below.

One thought on “My Fraternity is Ripping Itself Apart – What do I do?

  1. I would agree with everything above. A chapter retreat (w/o alcohol) is a good way to accomplish a lot of that. I’d also suggest reaching out to your nationals for help to facilitate & guide some of this process. Leadershape has a deal where they’ll come down for a wknd and do a session to get you all on the same page and highly motivated toward whatever vision you work out. If you can’t afford that, see if your national foundation will help you out given the circumstances.

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