Fraternity Pledging is Stressing Me Out

Fraternity Pledging

I am in the middle of pledging and I am constantly stressed.  I have thought about dropping many, many times and I think we are more than halfway done.  I don’t know what to do.  

It’s just so much stuff to memorize and so much of a time commitment, but I know in the end it’ll all be worth it.  It’s hard to admit, but I have even cried several times about it because this is such a hard decision to make.  What should I do?


If you are literally crying about how difficult pledging is then you are in an unhealthy place.  I’ll be the first to sing the praises of what fraternity membership can do for personal growth, but either you aren’t cut out for it or you joined a bad chapter.

Here are signs you joined a bad chapter:

  • You are being hazed
  • School work isn’t a priority
  • You party too much
  • You list of tasks is too extensive

Here are signs that you aren’t cut out for this chapter:

  • You dread going to the house
  • It isn’t fun anymore
  • You don’t like the guys
  • You don’t look forward to fraternity events

You need to talk to someone about what you are going through.  Talk to your big brother and pledge marshal.  Let them know what is bothering you and how it is affecting you.  If they can’t help put you at ease, talk to the chapter president or the chapter advisor.

If you end up sticking it out and become a brother – remember how you feel right now.  Be sure that you don’t make future pledges feel as awful as you do.

If you find out that it isn’t a good fit for you – don’t feel bad about quitting. I promise you it will be much worse to try to stick it out and then later on decide that you want to quit.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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