Why didn’t the Fraternity Give me a Bid?

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

Question:

Why didn’t I get a bid during rush week?


Answer:

I have received this question about 100 times this past week in several different forms. The answer is very simple, but the politically correct world doesn’t like the answer. However, I will give it to you straight.

You didn’t get the bid because the brothers didn’t like you.

It really sucks when that happens, but it is part of life. You don’t always get what you want.

Now, that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you. In most instances I have found that the problem is actually with the fraternity.

Let me let you in on a secret though — they did you a favor.

For some reason or another those guys did not feel like you were a good fit in their fraternity. Since that is the case, why would you want to be a part of their chapter? Don’t lose one second of sleep over not getting a bid.

Instead, go find a group where you do fit in. There are a couple of resources you have that can help you find the best fit.

First, ask around. Ask your buddies what fraternities are the best and what fraternity has the best guys. Also, ask girls in a sorority what fraternity they like. They will be able to tell you who they think the best guys are.

Also, ask the Greek Life director. They know the chapters better than you think. He will be able to match you up with a fraternity if you tell him what your interests are.

Finally, take this opportunity to go meet the guys on your own. Email the recruitment chair at chapters you are interested in and let them know you plan on joining a fraternity the next semester. Let him know you would like to learn more about their chapter.

Again, I know that it hurts to feel like you are left out. We have all been there many times. Your fraternity is out there. Follow these couple steps and you will get the bid from the right chapter during your next fraternity recruitment period.

If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.






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One thought on “Why didn’t the Fraternity Give Me a Bid?

  1. This can be a surprise to rushees at times, because likely there were a few active members who did like you and you felt led on by them. Remember though that it’s a chapter vote. And it’s not just a majority vote. In most organizations, 70-80% of members must endorse you coming in or you won’t get a bid (meaning only 20-30% need vote against you, and for small chapters that can be a small number). You have to keep your options open, and make a good impression with a lot of guys.

    Also take a look at reasons they might not have liked you? How are your grades? Did you do anything really stupid in the rush process? Did you feel like you fit in with the rest of those guys? Were you dressed alike & into the same stuff? Did you talk about money problems that might lead them to believe you can’t afford it? There’s hundreds of possible reasons. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but try to learn from it. Don’t go in next semester trying to be someone you’re not, but do put your best foot forward.

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