It is always best to start by calming the fears that the rushee may be having. He is going to be worried about the potential cost of the event and transportation. He’ll be worried about being pressured to join. Having been through rush many times, these are questions that a brother may overlook. However, rush is very intimidating for someone new to the fraternity scene.

Once you get a guy to the house the first time, it normally isn’t that difficult to get them out the second time.  Be aware that some guys may take a lot of persuading to get to a rush event.  It is up to you to make that happen.

Common sense should prevail during these recruitment situations though.  You must realize when you should cut your losses on difficult guys and move on to recruiting new guys. That amount of persuading takes a lot of valuable time. Some of those guys make the best brothers and are well worth the extra effort, but most of those guys will never join anyway.

Like everything else in life, the secret ingredient to getting guys to come to your rush event is probably hard work.  If you take the time to meet new guys and explain to them the rush process you will be successful.

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The fraternity continually preached that my new member class would become my best friends in college. I didn’t want that to happen with these guys.

Anyway, in the long run, these two guys and their friends did not receive bids to join the fraternity. However, just because they were around all the time meant to me that the fraternity was actually considering them for membership. I almost walked away from my fraternity because the impression recruiting these guys gave was very negative.

More than that, having these undesirables around takes time away from the guys a fraternity is really interested in. How stupid is it for a fraternity to spend all their time and energy to talk to guys they know will not receive a bid when there are guys in the same room that the fraternity desperately wants?

Be selective when you invite guys to your fraternity house to rush. Sure, there could be a diamond in the rough or two out there and everyone deserves a chance to make an impression. However, once negative judgment is made on a guy rushing it is best for all parties to cut ties immediately.

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That being said, here are the questions that are going to be asked, and how I would answer them. Remember that because this is how I would answer them doesn’t mean this is how you should answer them. Each fraternity is different, as is each brother. The point is you need to be prepared to answer them, because eventually you will have to.

Q. What is the cost of joining a fraternity?

A. I would tell them exactly what the new member dues and brotherhood dues are. Then I would explain where every penny went and why that expense exists. The critical question he is looking wants to be answered is he getting enough out of the fraternity to justify the cost. Explain to him the benefit of each expense. For example, make sure he realizes that because all the brothers pool their money together they are able to afford great parties and events that you can’t have without being in a fraternity.

Finances are probably the number one excuse guys use when they don’t want to join a fraternity. Many times though it is just an excuse for covering up the real reason. It is important not to sugarcoat this obligation.

When I was recruiting, some guys would tell me they would have problems paying their dues. I often told them not to worry about it and that the fraternity would work with them. After all, a fraternity is a collection of friends. The money is not what we are after, their friendship is. I would go on to explain that if they were having problems paying dues, we could put them on a payment plan where they could pay their dues off over the summer. Or, if things were bad enough, we could have a fund raiser to help him with his dues.

I did my chapter a huge disservice by telling potential members these things. A financial obligation to the fraternity is a huge deal that must be understand when you join. I believed that everyone would love the fraternity as much as I did, and that when you truly love something you figure out a way to make it work.

I would find out that not everyone had the same passion for fraternity as I had. As a result, many of the guys I recruited ended up owing the fraternity thousands of dollars in back dues. Eventually, a lot of these guys quit without meeting their financial obligations. I lost a lot of good friends because of this. Not everyone is cut out for being in a fraternity. It is best to be honest and open up front with guys you plan on inviting into your chapter.

Q. Does your fraternity haze?

A. If you chapter does haze, then you need to reevaluate what your chapter is all about.

To answer the question though, I would explain that my fraternity has a no hazing policy. I would explain though that during their new member period, they wouldn’t do anything that they wouldn’t want to do in front of their family.

That being said, I would explain to them that it wouldn’t be easy. Like anything worth having in life, it would take some work and effort to make it through the new member period. They must remember that every event in the new member program has a reason. Some of the stuff might seem dumb, or pointless, but it has a reason. There are going to be good days and bad.

One day though, it will all click. This moment is hard to explain, and everyone has it at a different time. When a new member has that moment, he will understand the reason for everything you have been taught in the new member program.

Q. What are the time commitments?

A. Again, you need to be honest when answering this question. Let them know that they are expected to attend whatever you expect them to attend. Remind them that even though this will be an extra commitment, this is something they will look forward to doing. New Member nights are designed to be a lot of fun, and will often be the highlight of the week. In addition, if they didn’t have new member commitments, they would probably end up wasting time watching TV instead of enjoying the things that college life has to offer.

The most important thing I would explain when this question is asked is that the new member period is a probationary period. They really don’t know the brothers, and the brothers really don’t know the guy rushing. If the rushee feels that the fraternity isn’t a good fit, they can quit with no hard feelings. By letting the rushee know the commitment isn’t permanent, he will become more willing to take a chance and try it out. And if it doesn’t work about, at least he’ll have the knowledge that he tried and it wasn’t right for him.

Q. Will joining a fraternity hurt my grades?

A. I would always tell the perspective member that it is up to them and fraternity is really irrelevant in this regard. If they are looking for an excuse for not performing well in class, they will be everywhere. However, if they are dedicated to their studies, they will perform well regardless of their extracurricular activities.

Remind the rushee that there are brothers who are excellent students. Also let them know that the success of the fraternity is partially judged on GPA, especially new member GPA. In fact, most fraternities are punished by the university if the new member GPA is sub-par. A fraternity would be stupid to do anything that would hurt their new members academically.

Go on to explain the academic benefits of joining a fraternity. I would always explain how I would seek tutoring from a certain brother before every math test. This guy was super smart, and was always available to help me because I was a brother.

I would also explain that brothers would conduct group study sessions for new members for common classes. Joining a brotherhood isn’t just something we say, we back it up with our actions and common concern for each others success.

The bottom line is letting the rushee know that joining a fraternity can be a liability or an asset. If they choose to use it as a valuable resource of guys who have been there before, they will be more successful academically by joining a fraternity.

Q. My parents won’t approve

A. This is another common excuse. You need to ask them why their parents won’t approve. They will probably be the questions listed above. If this really becomes a hold up, offer to have someone from the fraternity or your alumni advisor speak to their parents. If you are the right person to speak to them, then by all means do so.

Most times they will not take you up on the offer, but if they do, at least the parents will respect that you are concerned enough about their opinion to call.

If you do end up speaking to the parents, be sure to have good answers for the questions you know they are going to ask. Parents are looking out for the best interests of the child. They want to make sure that their kid is not joining Animal House.

Let them know that you are a respectable group of guys, and let them know about the accomplishments they are going to want to hear. If you do a lot of volunteer work for charity, tell them. If your chapter GPA is really good, tell them. At this point you are rushing the parent. Be sure you put your best foot forward.

Q. I think I want to wait until the spring semester

A. This is a very common statement, and to be honest, one that makes a lot of sense for most people. However, your objective is to get a rushee to join. Most of the time, this is an excuse. It is an easy way to say no without saying no.

Remind them that they can wait, but if they really want to join, why would they wait six months? Life is full of opportunities that present themselves at awkward times. This is obviously one of those awkward times. By not taking advantage of this opportunity, they will miss out of six months of great times and great memories that they can never get back.

Also, joining in the fall semester of freshman year is the best time to be a new member. For one, everything is new and they don’t have any preconceived notions of how things should be. This allows them to make an honest evaluation of the organization they are looking to join. The fall new member class is always bigger than the spring class, which equals a lot more fun and energy. There is no time like the present. No one knows what tomorrow holds.

Q. Do I have to live in the house?

A. The thought of living in the house does not make sense to people who aren’t in a fraternity. Most fraternity houses are border-line disgusting, and probably don’t create the best academic environment.

My fraternity always had a policy that the brother did not have to live in the house.  If they chose not to, their brotherhood dues were a little higher. I would explain to a rushee that while they may not understand the appeal of living in the house now, they probably will in the future.

The fraternity house is the center of the fraternity, and by living there they will always be in touch with what is going on. I would always point out the older brothers who were great brothers but never lived in the house as proof that it isn’t required.

Remember, the goal is to get the guy to join the fraternity. This question is a minor obstacle to overcome.

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My friend had not joined a fraternity his first semester of college like I did. He was going through rush his second semester. I knew he was going through rush, but I never asked him to rush my fraternity.

I am not sure why I was hesitant to invite him to a rush event. I had joined a good fraternity, and had enjoyed what I knew to that point. I was not hesitant in the least about inviting strangers to rush. It was strange I didn’t invite my friend.

I think the biggest reason why I didn’t invite him was because I didn’t want to put a friend in a situation where he may have to say no. Like I said, we were casual friends. Recruiting him to join my fraternity felt pushy for me at the time and I wasn’t really comfortable doing it.

Looking back though, I made a big mistake. My friend would go on to join a different fraternity. He would become their fraternity president and lead their fraternity to successes they had not had previously.

A few years later he asked me why I didn’t ask him to join my fraternity. I attempted to explain to him the reason, but that only seemed to confuse both of us. He let me know he would have joined our fraternity out of respect for me. He figured if I had liked the fraternity, then he would have like it as well.

By not asking him to rush, my fraternity lost out on a good brother and I lost out on a good friend.

I share this story because it is imperative that older brothers teach young brothers to not be afraid to invite their friends to rush events. Older brothers may think that it is common sense that new brothers should invite their friends to rush. It isn’t! Fraternity recruitment is confusing for newly initiated brothers. Take the time to teach these brothers how to recruit. Your fraternity will be better for it.

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This begs the question – why do you want your fraternity to grow? Below are twelve reasons why:

1. More members equals more revenue for the fraternity. Like it or not, fraternity is about the money in a way. Being in a fraternity gives a group of men the ability to pool their financial resources. This gives them a multitude of opportunities not available to the unaffiliated student. Having more money then means more opportunities of all types – social, leadership, philanthropic and educational.
2. Growing as a fraternity creates positive momentum. Organizations are either growing or shrinking. If you are growing, then that is saying that more and more people want to be a part of your fraternity. This is a clear indication that your fraternity is getting better, and that will create a positive momentum in your brotherhood.
3. A larger chapter means more leadership opportunities. More opportunities will exist because of the additional resources and additional demands of brotherhood. This will give more brothers the chance to grow in significant roles.

4. You will increase your presence on campus. More brothers means that there are more personal connections with other students on campus. That means that more people will know about your fraternity through those connections.

5. It will make you more competitive in athletics. Not only will you have a larger talent pool to comprise your teams from, but you will also be able to compete in more events without it seeming like a chore to the fraternity.

6. It will be easier to fill the house. Nothing drains a fraternity’s bank account faster than a half filled house.

7. You will be able to have bigger and better events because you will have the manpower to pull them off.

8. You will be able to overcome slow recruitment easier. Let’s face it, fraternities go through peaks and valleys. It is easier to withstand a valley, recruitment wise, when your fraternity is at 70 men as opposed to one with 20 men.

9. More members means more alumni. And alumni are the most untapped resource for most fraternities.

10. More members means a stronger brotherhood. Fraternity men are closest to their fraternity brothers, and do not have many meaningful friendships outside the brotherhood. Essentially, having more brothers means that each brothers friendship pool is increased.

11. Recruitment will be come easier. It is much easier to have success when 100 guys are recruiting than when 20 guys are recruiting.

12. It is easier to mix with sororities. Fraternities often are dwarfed by sororities in membership size. This makes mixers awkward, unless you have a large fraternity.

If you have any reasons you would like to add, use the comment box below.

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Question:

Do many juniors or seniors rush fraternities?

Answer:

To answer your question directly – no. The majority of people who rush fraternities are freshmen, and the majority of those guys are first semester freshmen.

However, there are a ton of juniors and seniors who wish they would have joined a fraternity when they were younger, but think the process is too involved to do as an upperclassman.

Often, this is a poor reflection on our new member programs. An upperclassman is not naïve about what goes on in a lot of new member programs, and they will not subject themselves to hazing. This is another reason why it is so important to eliminate hazing from our new member programs.

That being said, there should be no reason why upperclassman shouldn’t join your fraternity. Your brothers are going to meet guys who aren’t affiliated throughout their college career, and it would be foolish not to get the good ones to rush.

Actually, the best fraternity brother I know joined as a junior. While he was only a brother for a year as an undergraduate, he has given more to the fraternity as an alumnus than you could imagine. My fraternity probably would have literally folded without his contributions and leadership during difficult times. Thank goodness someone rushed him even though he was an upperclassman.

Like I stated, most juniors and seniors do not rush fraternities. Don’t let that dissuade you though from rushing high caliber men.

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Question 1:

I just found out I was rejected to a fraternity I really wanted to get into. Also this was my second time rushing for this fraternity. My question is should I rush for the same fraternity again next fall or just try to rush for a different fraternity?

Questions 2:

I have participated in rush twice, but I haven’t received any bids. Although they wouldn’t tell me exactly why they didn’t extend an offer to join their house, one of the brother’s at one of the fraternities pulled me aside and told me that, although everyone liked me, they had concern that because I “sound intelligent” that I might be the type to rat out the brotherhood on any hazing violations which might be committed during pledging.

Naturally, as a man who would turn loyalty into a vice if called upon, I was deeply offended by this, but I didn’t express my feelings on the matter when the brother promised that he would vouche for me at the Vote. The next day comes around and, not only did I not receive a bid from that fraternity, but also not from any of the other fraternities I had rushed. I later found out that 5 people out of 80 of the brothers present at the meeting spoke out against me (and it only takes one).

Still, despite these setbacks, I remain convinced that joining a fraternity is something that I really want to do, and I am considering rushing some of the fraternities that I missed in the past. Do IFC councils keep records of how many times a candidate has gone through Rush? If so, and you were at the meeting to decide whether or not to give a bid to me, would you be thinking “If no one else gave a bid to him, why should we”? Do you see any other difficulties, other than the two scenarios mentioned above, that I might face when going through Rush again (even if I don’t even stop by the fraternities that have turned me down before?)

Both of these guys want to be in a fraternity, but both got rejected by their first choice multiple times.

However, these guys did not do themselves any favors. If a fraternity doesn’t want you, then why in the world would you want them so bad? You got to remember that at the core of fraternity is the brotherhood. And if you can’t create meaningful bonds with the brothers, then your fraternity experience will be hollow.

My suggestion, find the guys you like and rush them. The fist step I would do is go talk to the Greek Life advisor on your campus. He will give you advice on what fraternities you should rush, and where you could fit in. He will also help you get in contact with those chapters.
And when you meet a new fraternity, don’t talk about your baggage from your last rush experiences. You wouldn’t talk about getting dumped by your high school girlfriend would you? This is the same thing. If the subject comes up, you can tell them you went through rush once, and you didn’t find the right fit. No need to elaborate.

As for the IFC keeping tabs on who rushes whom question – that doesn’t happen. As cold as it sounds, the only one that really cares about what you did during rush is you.

The key to receiving a bid is finding guys you have a connection with. Once you find the house where you belong, you will know it. Rush a couple fraternities at the same time next fall to find out where you fit in. It should become obvious which fraternity is right for you.

Remember that you will only have a meaningful fraternity experience when you find guys that you genuinely like, and who genuinely like you.

If you have thoughts on this topic that can help these guys out, please add your comment below.

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This new form of event can easily be hosted on campus, ideally closer to where underclassmen reside, or at the fraternity house. A question and answer session should contain a few parts.

The first part is a small presentation about your fraternity on a local and (inter)national level. The rushes should be familiar with all aspects of what they’re joining.

Second, is an opportunity for any interested men to pose questions to a few well-spoken representatives of your fraternity. Allow them to ask anything from what year you were founded to how much dues were last semester.

The third part is the most important and should be the most effective. Flip the Q&A on them. Take your brotherhood and break into small groups with roughly equal numbers of rushes. From there, have the brothers interview the rushes in a very relaxed and informal way. Kick back on a few couches and chairs, sit in a circle on the ground, or even take a walk around campus.

To help brothers prepare for this reversed part of the Q&A, the rush chair can collect suggestions for questions from all the brothers and organize them on discreet handouts for all the brothers. Remember though – this is not a checklist; just a guide for conversation.

Also remember, that the rushes aren’t the only ones who should be answering questions. Share your own responses or reflections on whatever the topic is. This will no doubt ensure you’re having a conversation, not conducting an interview.

This is also an excellent time to prepare rushes for the conclusion of your rush week, or “fraternity bid night.” Often times during this event, a rush may be asked what he can bring to the fraternity, or why he chose to rush your specific fraternity. The third part of the Q&A is a good time for a brother to coach a rush on what he’ll be expected to answer, and for the rush to reflect on what his answers will be.

This event will surely make rushes and brothers alike begin to form bonds and allow for more openness in conversation, rather than the usual surface-level introductory conversations. And the best part is: it’s free.

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Question:

It is recruitment time, and my fraternity is very interested in extending an individual a bid. He already lives many of our values, has a great personality, is an RA, and is on Student Government.

The problem is the guy has money issues. Some people have talked with him and he thinks he can pay over a period of time if we let it be extended through the summer. With most people this would be an issue but is it OK to make this exception for since he excels as a student leader?

This is a great question, and a common problem. Most guys don’t plan on joining a fraternity, and thus they don’t plan for the financial commitment. Let’s face it, joining a fraternity is expensive and college guys don’t have a lot of money. This can make the situation tricky.

My fraternity has a famous story about this very situation. The brothers at the house had become friends with the guy hired to work in their dining hall. He was a poor kid, and the thought of him being able to afford joining a fraternity was crazy. However, the brothers really liked him, and agreed to invite him to join. Realizing that he couldn’t afford to join, they decided that they would increase their dues to cover for this brother.

To make a long story short, this brother was Rafer Johnson, and I wrote an article about him a few months ago (The Most Awesome Fraternity Man you Have Never Heard of). He is the model brother and citizen. And he became a brother because the guys of this chapter realized that fraternity was about the brotherhood, not about the money.

You guys should follow the same example. You should never downplay the financial commitment of being in a fraternity. However, if the guy thinks he can work it out over the summer, you would be foolish not to work with him – especially if he is an RA. He could become the most important guy in your fraternity’s recruitment efforts.

That being said – every fraternity at every school is missing a huge opportunity if they are having their new member class pay dues. The new member class should have to fundraise for their dues. This will teach them to work together, and also lessen the unexpected financial burden. It will also eliminate a major reason why guys don’t join fraternities.

If you have thoughts on this topic that can help this guy out, please add your comment below.

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Recruits want to learn about your chapter. And now, they’re looking online. Point them to information you want them to find. Ask yourself, “Is this a good place for a recruit to learn more about our chapter?”

Use your homepage to showcase your most recent stories and accomplishments. A blog style format makes learning about your chapter and what you do easy.

Talk about recruitment and pledge education. Explain how they work, what to expect, when events occur, etc. Be transparent. And include your fraternity’s contact information.

Show your values. Listing and explaining them is a good first step, but show recruits you put words to action. Have sections about philanthropy and community service, academics, campus involvement, leadership, and brotherhood. If an alum or advisor can share his endorsement on the web site, all the better. The goal is to be clear about who you are and what you do.

Tip: The chapter web site, when done correctly, looks professional. If no one in the chapter can create or maintain a web site of quality, find someone on campus or in your community who can help. This might be a professor, peer, alum, brother in another chapter, or another Greek on campus.

Social Media

On Facebook, you may have a Fan Page or Group for your chapter. Whichever you choose, the chapter Facebook should do everything described above. Share photos, stories, and tag people in posts. Comment. Most importantly, use the same group every semester. People add to the page over time, so the value and usefulness for recruits will increase. Don’t make a different event/page/group each time. If you do, you have to recreate the value all over again. It’s a hassle your brothers and supporters don’t want to go through.

Other social media can be a useful platform for sharing anything about your brotherhood. Videos about anything fraternity can go on YouTube, Vimeo and your Facebook page. (Shout out to the recruitment video posted by Kappa Kappa Gamma at Baylor University!) Photos of your events can go on Flickr. Twitter can be used to say anything short. Or innovate! Connect with recruits in a fresh way.

Why it’s important. Recruits are going to look online. Instead of letting them wander until they find something, it’s best you give them a specific place to go where your chapter is telling the story.

In the end, choose one place you can continually commit to develop the most, and let that one place be a hub of links for visitors to find all of the other places you may be online. You can also add your headquarters’ stuff too. They may even have a recruitment-specific web site (like joinato.org).

What are some great examples of chapter web sites you’ve seen? What other ways fraternity’s can innovate?

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