Nobody had a better big brother than I did. My big brother lived across the hall from me in the dorm for my freshman and sophomore years. He took his role as big brother seriously when I was a pledge. He always looked out for me in private, but appeared to be hard on me in public. He took the time to explain to me what fraternity meant to him, and took the time to answer any questions I had.
I recently elected to the position of Marshal, meaning that I am also the head of our judicial board, and I take great pride in this. However, I also take great pride in the brotherhood and friendships that I have developed with all of the brothers. How can I show my brothers that I am serious and will punish the new members if they do not act as they are expected to, while not ruining any friendships?
I need some advice on reforming minor hazing in my chapter that is really poisoning new members. As you said hazing destroys the chapter from the inside, and I fear by belittling our new members we are stunting their development into leaders and breading nothing but resentment and mistrust.
In any new member program, stories about alums sometimes can seem mythical and will often intimidate the hell out of your pledges. But enjoying their time with alumni is a experience that every new member class should come into the fraternity with. As an active brother, you have two huge responsibilities when graduated brothers come back to your campus and meet the new member class for the first time:
I am now an alumni member of Tau Kappa Epsilon, but during my undergraduate career I served as the Chapter Educator for our chapter. As some schools have instituted a deferred rush process, meaning that freshmen are not allowed to participate in the rush process until the spring semester of their freshmen year, this has caused some added stress in the selection process of big brothers.
This was a phrase that my big brother told me after being inducted as a candidate in my fraternity. At the time I took it at face value, something witty and inspiring to encourage a new guy to get involved. Now that I am my fraternity’s new member educator I find myself evaluating this phrase and applying it to what I see in the behavior of pledges and actives alike.
1) Most fraternities aren’t creative enough to have a strong enough new member program that warrants having a long program. If there is no benefit in the additional weeks, then why do fraternities have them?
Hazing in Fraternities is a big problem. I was hazed on my initiation night. The details of what happened that night are not important. However, what happened as a result is. Three important things happened as a result of that night…
This is, by far and away, the most foolish comment made by brothers during a fraternity’s new member program to justify hazing. It seems like pledge marshals believe that they are now drill instructors, and that is what is expected in a new member program.
First off, let him. You only want guys who are dedicated to your fraternity. If they are questioning quitting during their pledge period, chances are they will not become the brother you envision. The sad reality of the situation is if you begging him to stay, you would just be postponing the inevitable.
