This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

Question:

Our fraternity has several problems: morale, feeling like the Fraternity Executive Committee makes decisions without the majority’s wishes in mind (aka brothers have no say and that several core Exec members are the source of this), and that brothers don’t want to run against the people already on the Fraternity Exec Board or those endorsed by Exec members.

In terms of morale, I believe the negativity is perpetuated by two of the core Fraternity Exec members. They have good ideas but believe they know better than everyone else what the Chapter needs, and they focus very much on the problems and negative aspects of our Chapter and never the things our Chapter does well. They have a vision of what they want the Chapter to look like, but don’t ask the brothers what Chapter means to them. These people are intelligent, hardworking brothers, and as another Exec member and someone who cares about our Chapter and is equally involved, I’m also associated with this negativity and disregard for Chapter’s feelings even though that’s not how I or many other Exec members feel.

As a member of the Executive Committee, both I and some of my fellow members, have made attempts to ask Chapter for feedback when presenting a problem, potential event, etc. but the brothers don’t speak up and they have glazed over eyes while we’re speaking. There’s generally no response from Chapter when we ask questions, or ask for thoughts and comments. We want to empower Chapter, but we don’t know how.

I’ve personally tried speaking with the individuals above about being aware of their negativity, and Chapter perceives and is affected by both their actions but also what they say and how they communicate it to Chapter. With elections coming up, I’m trying to encourage people who have never been on Exec to run for a position. But what can I do beyond affecting a few individuals (we have about 120 in our Chapter) to improve the overall Chapter atmosphere and attitudes?

Answer:

I believe your fraternity is suffering from a lack of shared vision and common goals amongst the brothers. Ideally the core vision of the chapter is something instilled during the new member period, reinforced by shared group activities, and continually reassessed by open dialogue. For whatever reason, it appears the brothers of your chapter are now missing this common ground, which causes them to have a withdrawn interest. The brother’s apparent apathy then forces the executives to push for reform by focusing on negatives. This can be a toxic environment to function in and difficult to fight.

Your chapter needs a serious reset to find a shared vision, and there is no better way to do this than a retreat. Having an open discourse about how the fraternity sees itself is not something that can be done at your normal weekly meetings because members are usually just going through the motions at these. A retreat will take the chapter out of its comfort zone and create an environment for open discourse.

Plan a camping trip that involves a difficult activity such as a rafting trip, or hike to have the brothers accomplish a difficult task together. After this gather the group around a fire and try to lead them in an open discourse. Have a moderator focus the discussion and ask questions like:

• What is our chapter best at?
• What is the most important thing to you about the brotherhood?
• What could we do better? Why?
• What goals do we want to accomplish this year? In three years?
• Ask Seniors to share the most valuable lesson they learned in their fraternity experience
• Ask Freshman what they hope to accomplish, and learn from the fraternity

These talking points should flush out a good discussion about the values the members hold important. Ensure that as many brothers as possible participate, which can be difficult for a large house, but important to make this a shared vision. Take notes on the most agreed upon ideas and goals of the conversation to revisit at chapter meetings down the road. Hold discussions on what progress has been made, and on the parts that could be done better.

I have seen this method used as a legacy planning to develop young leaders in a chapter. A new crop of brothers gets inspired by the vision they helped create and end up taking over the executive council with a mandate for action. Furthermore, having a shared purpose in the brotherhood’s activities will combat the apathy members often have when they feel to have no say in the chapter’s plans.

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The post Fraternity Exec Boards vs the Brotherhood appeared first on The Fraternity Advisor.

I asked those on my email list the following question:

What is your single best piece of advice for a fraternity leader this summer?

Below is a compilation of the 50 best answers I received.  Thanks to all those who responded.

1.

Just because it’s summer time doesn’t mean your work stops. The summer affords the chapter an opportunity for some awesome planning and an opportunity to connect with incoming students. Before you break for the summer, put your members into planning teams for fall events and programs. Don’t over burden anyone, give each member one or two tasks. The great part about technology now is that the members don’t need to be physically together to meet face to face. Skype and Google Hangout now afford people the opportunity to meet together and plan out events. For those members who are on campus, you should take advantage of new student orientations in a good way. If your school offers multiple orientations over the summer, plan events with your members who stay on campus during the days of orientation. Many schools have rules against fraternity parties and socials during orientation, consider planning campus cleanups or other on-campus service events. Let new students and their parents know that there is more to fraternity life than just social events and parties. No matter what you do remember that summer is a break from school, not a break from fraternity. Have fun, be safe, but get work done.

Hold an Executive Retreat with incoming officers and preferably outgoing officers too
~Find out what worked and didn’t work in past semester
~transition outgoing officer stuff to incoming officer
~set goals for upcoming school year
~it gets everyone on the same page

3.

Read deeply, but for pleasure.

4.

Fraternity does not stop if school is not in session. There is plenty of work to do over the summer. If you do not prepare for the upcoming fall semester, you will not be as successful as if you had. Make sure you delegate responsibilities. Because of the amount of work to be done, and the fact that you yourself will be busy with other things this summer; make sure you delegate to other leaders in your Chapter. Too much on one person (just like during the school year) will result in burn out or just not getting stuff done. As a leader of your Chapter, you must look ahead and prepare your members for events in the future. Lead them and they will follow..

5.

I would have to say the best piece of advice that I can give to a fraternity leader this summer is “Never take a day off.  Find some way to better yourself and your fraternity each day.”

6.

In today’s electronic age of text, email, skype, etc.  The ex comm should have virtual meetings weekly. Have a plan before summer and planned outcomes for fall…

7.

I would say my single best piece of advice would be “Look out for each other, like a brother, take care of one another.”

With that being said, I have to back that up with the fact that because many students are miles away from their families, they need to look out for one another…

8.

Attending leadership conferences held by your national HQ or Greek life offices at your school is always important. Keeping track with orientation board on incoming student demographics and compiling a names list from them etc.

However most importantly, REST. You have worked hard all year long. The stresses from fraternity life, on top of school, relationships, work, etc is daunting. It is important for you to come back in the fall well rested, ready to kick off a new year. The last thing you want as a leader is to be burnt out coming into the most important time of the school year for many Greek campuses, as fall rush is critical to meeting goals.

Hope I can help make an impact in a Greek leader.

9.

Stay in touch w/your fellow officers over the summer.  In the “old days” we’d have to phone each other, but in today’s social media-based world it’s fairly easy to throw a text out to your VP, treasurer, etc.  Ideally, it’s best to have a mid-summer retreat/get-together (often accomplished by attending a golf outing/camping trip/etc.).

10.

Host a summer meeting to prepare for rush and other things that will happen early in the fall.  Throw a party that night to increase attendance.

11.

Greek relations! Message sororities and tell them you are excited for the upcoming year and ready for mixers. Plan some summer BBQ mixers or a beach day mixer.

12.

Stay connected – and go VISIT one another (in small groups if possible) in one another’s hometowns, or places of summer employment. Definitely seek out those brothers working at the beach!  It’s so great to meet parents, be introduced to siblings, meet in-town friends, and just get to know our brothers from a perspective outside of the host institution.

13.

The single best piece if advice I could give over the summer is to stay in touch.

This been be done through staying in your college town, road trips, recruitment events, or simple mass email or Facebook correspondence.

Not only does this promote brotherhood, but there are things over three summer that need to be discussed and planned before fall semester.

Being in a fraternity does not stop when school is not in session.  It is important to stay connected over summer.

14.

The best piece of advise I can offer for a leader during the summer is to stay in touch when classes are not in session.  This means contacting alum, stay in touch with your brothers/sisters, and ensure you know what is going on with campus life.  It is also a good idea to structure some philanthropy/fundraising events.

15.

As a fraternity leader myself elected for next year, the best advice I got and I will give to you to use is stay in contact with every member in your Greek organization. Try and have a social event sometime during the summer to get everyone together and bond over the times they have had during the summer because there is nothing like a nice bond fire or BBQ to strengthen the brotherhood or sisterhood before coming back to school.

16.

My single best advice is that you can’t force bros or sisters what to do but you can create events were they feel excited and proud to be part of. The trick is to know how to fool them in doing things. If they are involve and have say on it, you already won them and got their support.

17.

This may sound a bit obvious, but make a fall calendar now, and share it with the brothers. It will give them something to get excited about over the summer, and no one will question where their dues are going.

18.

This is probably the easiest question I could get! The best piece of advice for summer – invest in your leadership by attending the Undergraduate Interfraternity Institute (UIFI). It would be the best five days ever spent.

19.

The single most important thing for a Fraternity Leader to remember going into Summer, is to go through a process of self-examination.

Being taught by the Jesuits (an Order of priests in the Catholic Church) for most of my life,  I have learned to examine my past actions in order to further my leadership potential. Often, after a busy school year, I let myself decompress for a couple weeks before I start making plans for the upcoming year. This time of rest allows me to examine my strengths and weaknesses not only on an individual level but also on the fraternity as a whole. By entering into this examination I can determine what worked well, what didn’t and so on and so forth. This is a great way to adequately and objectively evaluate in order to improve.

20.

Start recruiting now and continue to do so throughout the summer. Nothing is cooler than being a kid about to head out to college and getting called or messaged by a current fraternity member telling them to rush. Figure out who knows incoming freshmen and figure out a way to get into contact with them. Beating the other fraternities to contact a potential member can really set your group apart and raise the likelihood of them wanting to be a part of your group. It shows that your fraternity is organized and also everyone likes someone who likes them first.

Also keep in contact with brothers. Maybe have a weekend getaway or trip. Or meet at someone’s place for a weekend. A central area that everyone could travel to. It gets boring during the summer if everyone is at home. Also if you keep in touch with those members who aren’t the most involved it will help them to be more likely to stay/return the next semester.

21.

Be sure to keep in touch with your executive board. Have conversations via phone or Skype about the goals you want to meet in the upcoming semester. If there are things that you want your members to accomplish during the summer, make sure you are checking in with them on their progress.

22.

If officers were elected at the end of spring, it’s always nice for the new officers to begin meeting under casual conditions to get accustomed to one another and build strong relationships with one another. Summer is definitely an important planning period for recruitment and the fall schedule.

23.

One of the best advice I can give a fraternity leader is that if you are stepping, you have to really work with your brothers and have patience with them if they are not getting it as fast as you want them to.

As stepmaster I’m learning that now, some of my brothers were not getting part of a routine that we’ve been rehearsing. I patiently worked with them and they are doing a lot better now.

So, by having patience and continuing to work with them, encouraging them to do better, they will overcome those tough obstacles.

24.

Attend a leadership development program, such as UIFI, in addition to your General Fraternity Convention.

25.

The summers are the best time to plan, strategically. Prepare all the events, dates and projects for the upcoming semester or year. We typically develop new service activities, fundraisers and plan new recruiting tactics.

26.

Don’t put the fraternity on the back burner but don’t get burnt out on the fraternity over the summer. Set goals to be done by certain days to make sure you are getting everything done and you are not just putting things off. Let me know if you need more clarification.

27.

Every year we roadtrip and visit the brothers from the same chapter around the area, rent a beach house and hold 3-straight days of mixers with sororities around the area.

28.

Empower you’re right hand guys. Let your VP, treasurer, rush chair, or proactive non-executives you need them next year. If I got anything done as president it was because of these guys. Let them know you need them,  and pledge your time and resources to them.

Read your bylaws, both local and national. These give you a good framework to push your agenda.

Plan rush. We rushed in October and started planning in July. This still didn’t feel like enough time. There is no such thing as a too organized rush. Additionally, you will save money if you get orders for collateral in early and don’t pay premiums for expedited delivery.

29.

I’m sure this is going to sounds similar to what a lot of others are saying, but the biggest thing is organization. Organization is the most important thing a president needs in order to have a successful year.

30.

Think of ways to be different. And do little things that brothers will notice. Build (or buy for those less apt) a new table or something. Come back in the fall with social ideas that can show your group that being different can be very successful. I know that’s very “run of the mill” but it can make an impact.

A summer party is a great way if feasible. I’m at a state school so most brothers are 2 to 3 hours away from their homes so it’s easy to achieve. We usually have 2 or 3 summer BBQs and a party after everyone brings friends from home. Nice to meet your brothers’ friends from home (usually) shows you more of how they are at home away from school. Also we fix up the house, make changes, paint, clean the yard, talk to neighbors. You can have a good time with it. Also since most people sleep at the house after the party it gets more interesting than your average during the semester party.

Hopefully something out of this was helpful

31.

Self-reflection. Take a moment to step back, breath, and reassess what you’ve done right or wrong up to that point. Think about it like a US President’s second term.

Also of course communications with your leaders & doers. Good time for an exec retreat.

Make especially sure your recruitment team is on the ball and actually talking to prospects possibly even doing events, not just waiting around for Fall rush.

We always did a brotherhood retreat mid-summer – in our case a huge river float – to sort of renew the bonds & reinvigorate everyone to start thinking about coming back strong.

Also, summer is a critically important time to be networking with alumni. In the non-profit world, from national fraternities to any other organization, board members are there as much for their judgment as their fundraising ability.

A chapter president is going to be able to connect with a lot of alumni that even the alumni chair isn’t. Press some hands. Get alumni to set up happy hour type things in major cities in your state & as president, go press some hands. Don’t ask for money necessarily, but build the foundation that’ll allow the alumni chair & others to do that when appropriate, or maybe just to get more alumni involved in the future. A president is usually nearing graduation, and as we all know on this side, networking is the most valuable thing you can have on your side.

32.

I would have to say that you don’t want the chapter to leave its semester on a bad note. You don’t want grief & strife, things that deteriorate brotherhood, to just sit and fester over the summer. It’s going to make getting fall rush (if your chapter does it) and any other events you have planned for the beginning of the fall rather hellish.

Currently, I’m the president of a chapter in Texas. Going into the last few weeks of classes, especially since that’s the beginning of all of our officer’s terms, I made an effort to end meetings on good notes on brotherhood and concord. Just reminders of our ideals, our fraternal object, the meat and potatoes of why our fraternity exists. In our hectic lives at the end of the semester, it’s easy for brothers to forget, and the newly initiated may not have a full grasp of them yet.

Also, an end of semester retreat with copious amounts of food and beverages helps too!

33.

The leader needs to concentrate on how to motivate the brothers to fund raise better and how to Rush new perspectives better.

34.

Preparation.

Every leader should use the summer months to get ready for the upcoming semester or even year. Go to LeaderShape, got to UIFI, go to your National Conference! Meet people compare notes, start planning your big philanthropy now.

To many people use the summer months as a time to decompress and to veg. While it is good to relax and take a step back from the grind of being a fraternity leader, don’t spend the whole time on your coach watching Netflix.

Take a week to relax and then start to plan and prep, it doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be as simple as choosing a date for a recruitment cookout once school starts again.

Remember if you aren’t getting ready for the next semester a rival fraternity or sorority probably is, and now would be the perfect time to overtake you.

35.

Nothing impacts a fraternity’s success more than rushing the right men.  Period.

If you’re a President or Rush Chairman and you don’t have a plan for identifying the quality, incoming freshmen—and getting a jump on personally rushing and pledging them over the summer so that you’ll have your core pledge class come Fall—then you’re fraternity will continue to be mediocre.

Get the winners on board EARLY……before the lesser fraternities have their shot at them.  It’s all about recruitment of the “most, best men”.

36.

My advice (as an advisor)… Don’t stop working! The summer is a GREAT time to get ahead for the fraternity, meet with advisors, meet with alumni, and have some great brotherhoods!

37.

Recruit and get the plans in order for the Fall recruitment period.

38.

Here is my suggestion.  Invite your Chapter Advisor or Board of Advisors to prepare a 3 sentence statement, request, notice, or other type of message each week or as needed to be read to the entire chapter at the chapter meeting.

This gets entered into the minutes and gives the BOA/CA a chance to make sure all members of the fraternity heard the same message.

The message can be about the house, an alumni notice, a change in school policy, some message from the Fraternity Headquarters, almost any topic and it helps keep the advisors and volunteers connected to the chapter.

39.

The single best piece of advice I can give is that you need to plan a Summer Retreat or Summer Meeting. There’s no way you can map out all of your needs and plans for the fall by the end of the academic year. If possible, planning a summer retreat allows you to get your decision makers in the same place to set in motion the plans that will make a chapter successful come the start of the school year. We used these retreats to do the following:

- Adjust to transfers / lost members

- Create a detailed recruitment plan

- Work with advisors to set goals and make sure we are in compliance with any new HQ or University guidelines

- Reflect on summer HQ conferences (Phi Delt holds a leadership seminar every summer)

- Set chapter priorities and goals so as to hit the ground running

- Start the conversations about leadership transitions for the next wave of officers

- Enjoy some brotherhood and bonding time

Many chapters waste the summer and therefore use precious time at the start of the school year dealing with the above topics. High achieving chapters can start implementing plans right away instead of creating those plans. Every advantage helps, especially with recruiting. Take one day or two to enjoy the company of your brothers and to get some real work done.

40.

I have a few critical things that should be maintained during the summer such as……..

Names List (running list of Pnm’s)

How much the fraternity has in savings and will that be enough for RUSH of Fall semester.

The Rush events PLANNED BEFORE the week before rush, to effectively advertise.

Continue brotherhood, Keep in touch with the new brothers and graduated”" seniors.

Keep in close contact with the treasurer, to manage funds properly, or create a budget with the money you are earning through the summer to pay nationals and for Rush, exc.

Update Bylaws, whether it mean small changes, or just emailing them out to every brother.

DONT STOP PLANNING EVENTS.

Think of creative new ideas to bring the brotherhood together, such as : Corn hole and Pool tournaments, Golf outings, camping outings.

MAKE ONE INVESTMENT WITH FRATERNITY FUNDS SUCH AS Tent, TV for chapter room, new Pledge manuals, RUSH SHIRTS for fall semester.

The single most important thing a fraternity leader can do throughout the summer is, keep close contact with the brotherhood, be conscientious of the budget and what you will NEED to have a successful beginning of the school year, and send out letters to Alumni (Telling them of upcoming events throughout the school year, and inviting them to tailgate, and or I-Night)

In my own chapter these key steps would make a HUGE difference, which is why I’m going to implement them.

41.

My best piece of advice for a fraternity leader is to attend whatever your organization’s leadership events may be.  In case of Delta Sigma Phi, Undergraduates have the opportunity to attend the Leadership Institute as well as participate with Alumni members, Staff members, and National level leaders at our 58th Biennial Convention in Phoenix, AZ.

42.

Sharpen the saw: Do something for yourself to experience something new that will refresh you and allow you take a break from the day to day ups and downs of student leadership.

Attend a summer leadership program sponsored by your inter/national organization.

Attend the North American Interfraternity Conferences (NIC) Undergraduate Interfraternity Institute (UIFI) in Bloomington, Indiana at Indiana University. (More information at http://www.nicindy.org)

Read “Motivation the Middle” by: T.J. Sullivan. Takes less than two hours to read, and can be purchased on Amazon for $10.

Have an executive board and chairman retreat in mid to late July to get the ball rolling for the fall before it starts.

Focus on your own mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health.

43.

One piece of advice I have off the top of my head is study the ritual.  Summer is great time to get ritual proficient, no classes, no distractions.

44.

Boost alumni relations and get ideas from guys that have done it all before. Often they provide good insight and ideas.  Also make a calendar early to get everyone pumped for the new year and give them time to get off work and plan for events.

45.

Make sure your brothers are safe, never let them drive drunk

46.

My biggest piece would be don’t make your plans alone. Coming back with a master plan for how to fix the chapter will likely just lead to apathy as members had no say or stake in creating it.

47.

Keep in touch with his brothers. Have him be the communicator and inform them of what’s happening.

48.

Set the calendar before school starts so that everyone already knows expectations of what the fall is going to be like. It also helps with planning and figuring out what is realistic and what isn’t.

49.

I’ll give it a shot, I think you’re more the expert on this but why not. The most important thing for a fraternity to do is lay out the foundation for the incoming fall semester. Holding meetings during the summer can set the tone for the incoming semester as well as being able to accomplish things like, refurbish the fraternity house, get in touch with alumni for support, work with the Greek Life to put your fraternity ahead of the rest with school events, philanthropy and rush. Creating lists of possible friends, classmates, can create possible leads for fall before rush even happens. Plus the brothers that stay in school during summer are going to want to go on trips, hold events and parties which could boost the funds of the chapter.

50.

From Pat:

-          Take a few weeks away to recharge your batteries.

-          Rush hard.  Identify and reach out to potential targets before they step foot on campus.

-          Attend your fraternity’s leadership convention.  This is one of the greatest things about being in a national fraternity.  It is a shame so few brothers take advantage of it.  It is worth the couple hundred bucks – trust me.

-          Learn.  Talk to people about fraternity and steal their best ideas.  Read books on leadership and fraternity (or get both in my book – The Fraternity Leader).  And be sure to keep a notebook of all these ideas.  Implement the very best ones when you get back to campus and have the best year yet.

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St. Joe’s Fraternity Meeting

I’m going to start with a short story about fraternity ideas and how they get supported.

Luke is a true fraternity guy. He attends every event and holds the Director of Fundraising position in his chapter. He loves the fraternity.

But one day, Luke has a problem. Grad Night, a highly anticipated and special event for graduating seniors, is being held tonight, the day before his accounting final. Because Luke feels studying for his accounting final is more important than Grad Night, he decides not to go.

*the next day*

Good news! Luke feels he has done great on his final, but as he is on his way home, he receives a call from Robby, the President. Robby tells him he is being docked an attendance point for not attending last night’s event.

Although he sent an email to Robby stating he could not attend because he had to study, Robby is only following their chapter’s bylaws and procedures (as a president should), which states studying is not an excused reason for absence.

Because Luke feels he contributes much more, sometimes twice as more than some of his other brothers, he feels he was treated unfairly. However, Robby was just following their chapter’s policies.

At this point, Luke must take the hit, because that’s what the current chapter policies say. Nothing he can do about it (unless the chapter policies provide a way to make up missed events). However, the more he thinks about it, the more he believes their attendance policy is flawed and a revision is needed, but he doesn’t know where to start.

This is a common scenario that occurs in fraternities across the country and is a perfect dilemma to illustrate how big change is made in a fraternity or in any other work place or organization.

There are three stages in introducing big ideas in your fraternity:

1. Creation
2. Promotion
3. Implementation

1. How to Create a Great Idea and Get Your Brothers to Like It

First, you have to have a good idea. When you think of one, talk to people you are closest with about your idea to see if they like it.

Does your idea add value to the fraternity? Is it a negative change, or positive? Will it make your chapter more efficient? More fun? Why are you introducing this change? What is it solving?

Type out your idea and make sure you answer the following questions:

1. What is the problem?
2. What is your solution?
3. How will it help?
4. What problems do you foresee if your idea was implemented?

This will act as a first draft of an official proposal to your chapter.

2. How to Promote Your Idea Before You Announce It

So going back to our story, Luke creates a first draft of a proposal for a new attendance policy. His closest friends think his new idea is great and offer some positive and negative feedback and he refines his proposal accordingly.

A couple weeks before a chapter meeting, Luke starts pitching his idea to a few brothers at a time and he makes sure he ends up talking to at least half of them.

This process eases brothers into the idea so they are more familiar with it than if he were to suddenly announce such a big change at a meeting. This means there will be more acceptance of Luke’s idea, less questioning, and more people than just Luke to back it up.

This is the same way we can begin to implement our ideas or solutions in our jobs or careers.

3. How to Implement Your Idea and Get It Accepted

To conclude our story, Luke takes his revised and completed proposal and brings it to a chapter meeting. It is voted on and passes.

Because Luke had a well-written proposal that was revised multiple times in accordance with people’s feedback, his idea was accepted with little apprehension. More than half of your brothers in attendance to the meeting should already know and like your idea from the second stage of this process.

It may help to practice your pitch for the chapter meeting before hand. That way, when you announce it you will sound confident, which builds people’s trust in you and your idea.

Seriously, this works every time. What makes this method so great is that through your brothers’ feedback, you are essentially bringing an idea that everyone collaborated on to the chapter – not just one person. Let’s recap.

Recap

1. Come up with a great fraternity ideas. More often than not, coming up with a great idea is easier with a small group of people than just by yourself.
2. Write your idea down in a clear, and professional proposal style format.
3. Pitch your idea to at least half your chapter by a few brothers at a time and refine your proposal when/if necessary.
4. After a couple weeks of spreading your idea around, bring your completed proposal to a chapter meeting and bring it up for discussion.
5. After it’s passed and accepted, help with the implementation to make sure it is being followed accurately.

I used this same technique to implement a positive attendance policy, a chapter business, and more in my own chapter. I hope it helps!

As always, please share in the comment section what has worked for you, what hasn’t, or anything else you’d like to share.

This article is contributed by Reggie Paquette, a brother of Delta Sigma Pi and a senior at Cal State University, Fullerton. Reggie is a frequent contributor to thefraternityadvisor.com.  Follow him on Twitter: @reggiepaq.

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Kappa Delta Sorority – NC State

I had a special honor last night – I was invited to speak to the women of Kappa Delta Sorority at NC State.

This was a first for me, and to be honest I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.  I have given my keynote presentation to men several times, but never to women.  I knew our leadership challenges were similar, but it is always a bit daunting navigating uncharted waters.

Quite simply I was overwhelmed by the experience.

I was also overwhelmed by the immaculate, brand-new Kappa Delta house and their 120 members.  This was the most extraordinary Greek House I had ever been in.  It was very impressive.

Finally, I was overwhelmed by how these women conducted themselves.

While I gave my presentation, the women were engaged and attentive.  It was very apparent that they took this opportunity to learn seriously, realizing by doing so they could improve their chapter.  After I spoke I had the pleasure of meeting several of the sisters  They were confident and well-spoken.   And when I left, they gave me a gift with a sincere thank you note.

I can’t overstate how impressed I was with the class these ladies exemplified.

When I left, I couldn’t help comparing sororities to fraternities.  It seems like women’s groups are doing better than the men’s groups on nearly every campus.

And then I started thinking about a point I make in my presentation:

You get one point in life for coming up with your own idea, but you get two points for stealing someone else’s.

Guys – sorority women have cracked the code on running a successful Greek chapter.  Their members succeed in every way, especially academically.  They don’t beg freshmen to join their chapters, they select the most qualified ladies.  They don’t live in run down houses, they live in mansions.

You would do your fraternity a world of good if you humbled yourself and learned about how they run their chapters.

Does this mean turn your fraternities into sororities?  Of course not.  It means learn more about what makes sororities successful.  If any of the ideas would fit in your chapter, then use them to make your chapter better.  All Greeks win when that happens.

Again, I sincerely appreciate how welcome the Kappa Delta Sorority at NC State made me feel yesterday.  It was one of those moments that made me really proud to give back to the Greek community which has given me so much.

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Question:

I have been with my fraternity at a smaller college for about 2 years now and it seems like the end of the road is nearing. When I was a freshman, I met some of the guys in the fraternity who were seniors at the time and they were all cool. But after I joined, they graduated the next semester leaving the rest of us having to rebuild my fraternity and recruit new members.

Well our chapter currently has less than 15 members and there is no drive to become better. There are no socials, not much campus involvement, and the interaction with other sororities/fraternities is not what I want it to be. It seems there is no direction and it is starting to cause me to think to myself if I want to continue being apart of the chapter.

I know that nothing is perfect but I expected to have more fun and have a better college experience by joining a fraternity at my school. I want to do more things, but my brothers are fine with the normal ‘go to meetings’ and not do much of anything else. It is a bad feeling seeing the other fraternities at my campus thriving and being popular with all of the students when most of the people do not recognize us as a fraternity at school. Please help because I hate quitting on people and just giving up with commitments, but I’m starting to have thoughts about leaving the chapter.

Answer:

I am going to tell you right now to not even let the thought of leaving your chapter cross your mind. Once you put that on the table as an option, it tends to overwhelm every other idea out there. Option A might be too tough. Option B might be too slow. Not enough people would go with Option C. Those negative thoughts come from keeping the quitting option on the table. We have to start our discussion on what to do next without quitting being on the table.

Next, you can hang in there. By seeking out help and wanting to rebuild your fraternity means that you are already most of the way there. It’s easy to find the way to do it when the will to do it is there. Everything else after this paragraph is doable. I assure you that you can do this. Even if it isn’t perfect, you will learn more by trying to improve your chapter than by walking way. That experience in and of itself is worth the price of the struggles that may come.

The beautiful thing about a small campus is that your chapter is able to recover more quickly and more efficiently than other campuses. It makes it easier to answer the following questions about your chapter:

-       Why do we have a damaged relationship with other Greek Organizations?

-       Why are we not engaged in the campus community?

-       Why is motivation and participation so low?

-       Who in the chapter is enabling these issues or setting the negative trend?

-       Who on campus can be the engine of change?

-       What are other chapters doing that we are not?

If you take some time to really examine those questions and talk to the people that can give you answers, then you can start building a plan. Trust me, Greek men that didn’t choose you and Greek women that want nothing to do with you will tell you exactly what they are thinking. You’ll be shocked at how cooperative they will be if you ask and genuinely want their feedback. They’ll be so stunned, they’ll help you more than you know.

With small schools, you are one great recruiting class away from turning the corner and making real improvements. So what if only 5 of your brothers are on your side? So what if the entire chapter isn’t a part of the plan? If the small group of motivated brothers goes out (with the information from those questions above) and starts a new trend for your chapter, your recruiting class will be big enough to drown out the voices of discontent. On a small campus, you don’t have to look very hard to find smart, motivated, young men who can become great brothers. Small campuses also tend to be a draw for people that want to be connected on campus and more involved in student groups. It’s a target rich environment, even if the sheer number of targets is not incredibly high.

My chapter was in a similar, albeit less dire, situation. We nearly doubled our chapter size in one class of high energy young men and really made great improvements as a chapter. You can do this too. You have allies in your chapter that will help.

My last statement is more of a story than anything. There is a crowd of people walking briskly down a city street. A man on a bench stands up and declares, “Those are my people. I must go with them so that I can lead them”. His friend looks at him with confusion and replies, “Why follow the crowd to lead? Walk confidently this way and they will follow where you lead them.”

In your chapter, you can lead in a different direction. Obviously, the old way is not working. Walk confidently where you feel is best for your chapter with the information to lead.

This answer was written by Joe Russo, an alumni brother from Phi Delta Theta and frequent contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

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I am from Tobacco Road, and college basketball isn’t life or death around here.

It is much more important than that…

In this post, I’m going to tell you exactly why teams win.

There are basically two ways to win in modern day college basketball.

The Kentucky Method

First, you can try the Kentucky method of out-recruiting people.  Put enough five stars on the court and good things are bound to happen right?

Of course, this method is bound to have high peaks and low valleys.  You are relying on young players, which is always dangerous.  Your team doesn’t have enough time to develop experience and continuity, which is a valuable asset come tournament time.

The only teams that can be consistently successful with this method are the upper echelon teams.  The other 300 D1 programs have to take another approach.

The problem is – most of them don’t.  They try to win the recruiting game against the programs that are hyped by ESPN 24-7.  This is how they spend their time, money and energy.  They can’t win that game.  This is why you see the same teams at the top of the polls every year.

Building Team Chemistry – Why Teams Win

There is another way to win– and that is taking advantage of the way the current game is played.

I am watching the Indiana/Temple game as I write this, and the Indy PG just took a shot to the head with no foul called.  It would have been 15 yards and a fine in the NFL.

This happens every single game. The game is more physical than ever.  This levels the playing field and is why there is so much parody.

Smart coaches know there is a better way.  They recruit good players who are good shooters and play hard defense.  They fill their team with these types of guys.  These guys may not be the 5 star players coming out of high school, but they can become 5 star players by the time they are seniors.

By the time they are seniors they have been through the wars of tournament play.  They have had four or five years of practice.  They have grown to form bonds with their teammates because of these shared experiences.

Leaders develop on these teams, because they have had time to learn how to lead.  Also, they are now 23 year old grown men going against 18 year old boys.

And more times than not, the experienced leaders will beat the young hot shots. This is why teams win.

This is very similar to how our fraternities play out.

Make your Fraternity a Team

A chapter with a couple superstar brothers does not make a great fraternity.

How many times have we seen a couple young, hot shot brothers come into the chapter and attempt to take it over by their sophomore year?

It doesn’t matter if they are successful or not, because the damage has already been done.  No respect was paid to the older brothers and as a result they drift away.

Sure, they still may come to an occasional party or pay their dues, but they are not contributing at the level they should be.

When they drift away they take years of experience with them and leave a huge leadership hole in your fraternity.

If you really want your fraternity to be great – if you want to win – you need to cherish these guys.  You need to cultivate a fraternity where the upper classman lead and teach the young bucks how to lead.

Also, how many times have we seen a chapter with one or two superstars and a room full of duds?  These superstars aspire for their fraternity to be more, so they work extra hard and do 95% of the work that needs to be done.

On the surface, these superstar brothers can create a facade that the chapter is doing great and achieving great things.  In reality though, only one or two brothers are achieving.  The rest are apathetic and the foundation of this chapter is sturdy as a house of cards.

Build your brotherhood team the right way.  Celebrate the elders and show them the respect they deserve.  Teach the young guys to spend their early years working hard in preparation for when they become the old guard.  Keep everyone engaged, because success depends on everyone contributing.

This is why teams win.

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Last week, I asked those who subscribe to my newsletter (click here – it’s free!) to share their favorite fraternity and sorority mixer ideas.  I’ll be honest, I really had no idea of what to expect.

I am happy to report that I received a ton of great ideas, and a few duds.  But I compiled them all and they are below.  I did not edit out any that I received.  My thoughts are that my readers are mature enough to judge of the good and the bad.  Also, I sometimes get my best ideas from being exposed to bad ones.  I think this is a great list, and will become a resource for fraternities and sororities for years to come.

I apologize that some are duplicates.  It seems like their is a weird bowling fad sweeping colleges that I didn’t know about.  Who would have guessed?

Finally – thanks to all who contributed.  It is sincerely appreciated. — Pat

153 Fraternity and Sorority Mixer Ideas

1. The rhyming costume party. Librarians and barbarians, joggers and loggers, etc. Stay away from ____ Bros and ____ Hoes, which is the default way most of these parties rhyme.

2. Pumpkin carving: divide them into teams and have competitors for best carvings

3. Zip-ties and Mai-Tais: you get zip tied to a girl and share mai-tais

4. Go to a baseball game: professional or university game

5. BBQ with them: usually not best with the more stuck up sororities

6. Scavenger hunts around campus or neighborhood: great way to lower inhibitions without drinking

7. Joint volunteering. people tend to be less awkward when they are doing stuff with there hands

8. Chuck E. Cheese after 8. Great time for college age kids to relive their youth.

9. Etiquette dinners are always great. It’s a good lesson learned for both fraternity and sorority members.

10. Any mixer that doubles as a philanthropy event. Sigma Pi and Alpha Omicron Pi feed the hungry night where the two get together and serve food at a homeless shelter.

11. One of my favorite events we did in college was an “Aquafina Party”. Everyone wore white and we drank water. There was water pong, card games with water, etc. It was incredibly fun and always fell within university policies as there was no alcohol allowed.

12. We have done a handcuff bowling mixer. Brothers are handcuffed to their date/member of sorority. Give prizes to the top 3 winning couples.

13. Sometimes what we do is have a brunch mixer. So many fraternities are caught  in having events at night and it becomes routine we feel.  What we do every once in a while is invite a sorority over at about 10 or 1030, cook up some pancakes and just hang out on the lawn. Its a nice change of pace.

14. Picking a fitness class to do with a sorority can always be fun (yoga, zumba, kickboxing)

16. Date party where everyone has to find their date on Tinder

17. Our Sigma Chi favorite at Duke is candy shop. Delicious drinks like holy rancher flavored vodka and Sunny D with orange cream vodka and everclear. The drinks are delicious and the girls love the sweet theme. The house gets decorated bright and with candy on the walls.

18. Community service/philanthropic event (blood drive, habitat for humanity build, etc.)

19. Tailgating sporting events- obviously football, however for schools that don’t have major athletic teams there can be tailgating for the sports they do have. One of our big ones is volleyball games.

20. Guest speaker: getting a well known person to come in and talk with students about how they became successful and taking questions on what people could do to get where their at.

21. Non-Ritual chapter meetings: we do this so that potential new members can see what it’s like to be apart of the meetings. They obviously don’t get voting rights or obligations for setting things up for the chapter or any other general hazing practices.

22. We try and keep a 2 guests per active ratio during any of our events so things don’t get out of hand with invites as well as keeping a names list of people who were invited. What ends up happening is we’ll have members invite one guest then with the remaining invites we split them up with the sororities so that we can get unity within our Greek community.

23. Halloween: heaven and hell, have multiple level homes, decorate one half as hell and the other half as heaven.

24. Mardi gras

25. Thrift shop: everyone goes and finds the most ridiculous outfit from thrift shops that they can.

26. Jimmy Buffet

27. ABC (anything but cups or anything but clothes or anyone but carolina): ABCups is you bring items that aren’t usually used as cups, ie. pots and pans, lawn flamingos, what have you. ABClothes things like Christmas paper, trash bags, soda boxes, wooden barrels, traffic cones what have you.

28. Ugly sweater social and Christmas paper: thrift shop for the ugliest sweater you can find or dress up in some wrapping paper.

29. Campus security Social: get some pizza and soda or whatever you want to eat and drink and mix and mingle with campus security and get on their good side rather than trying to dodge them.

30. Whatever the majority of your members major is have a social with those teachers to get on a personal level with them and to get to know them better as well.

31. We did a thrift shop prom. Where we set a maximum people could spend and then we had a best dressed contest. It was a lot of fun

32. The best theme for a mixer since I’ve been around has been a Speed Date. Hold sign-ups to facilitate pairings, play a bit of music, and allow three to five minutes for each pair to get to know one another. A simple rotation. While it may be difficult to arrange given that sororities tend to be a bit larger than fraternities in size, one focusing on new-members or a particular class could help resolve that issue.

33. We have a lot of hills here on campus so we have a lot of fun making a huge slip and slide and grilling out. The huge tarps are only a hundred dollars or so and then you just need soap and a water source. As long as you do it off campus or get permission you should be good to go.

34. We make out pledges do “Date Dashes”. They think they are meeting for a regular pledge meeting, we take their phones then tell them they have 20-30 minutes to be back at the house with a date. Then we take them ice skating or dancing or something. It is interesting to see who ends up asking who. The stories of guys going up to random girls and getting them to grab them as dates is great. Or those guys with girlfriends running all the way across campus to find her. It also helps our guys get more comfortable with the ladies and shows us who has game. Also it gets our name out on campus. (Not necessarily a mixer)

35. One of our founding fathers met his future wife at a “speed dating mixer”. Set it up like a typical speed dating session. Have the guys rotate around and talk to every girl for a couple minutes.

36. My Tie Mixer – all the guys bring a tie to the event/venue and the sorority ladies each get to pick a tie. After all the ties are picked the girls match up with the guy whose tie they picked. This means that they are essentially each other’s date/partner for the night.

37. Barn Dance – In Iowa City, we have a place called Wildwood which is a western type of restaurant/bar/venue that has a mechanical bull and a big dance floor. We all get dressed up in a western style boots/jeans/flannels/cowboy hats and go out to the place. It’s a blast.

38. Dinner & Drinks – We have to fulfill requirements for non-alch socials on campus, so often times we will go out to eat at a fancy place and then host a party afterwards. We’ve gone to sushi places before which has worked really well.

39. Date parties/semi-formals –  A lot of people like date parties, it allows them to bring their own date. These are usually pretty classy events where we go to nice hotels, dinner cruises on boats, wineries, etc.

40. Random Themed parties – have to be careful nowadays with all the fraternities getting in trouble for “racist ragers”, so it’s key to make sure things are politically correct.

41. Highlighter party – everyone wears white/neon and you buy a bunch of highlighters. Plug in a bunch of blacklights

42. USA themed

43. high school clicks theme

44. CEOs and corporate hoes

45. daylong theme / rave-house music theme

46. 10 min before a porno theme

47. jelly/pudding/KYjelly wrestling

48. 80′s / rockstar theme

49. american theme / country theme

50. Some of the best that I’ve heard would include an etiquette class followed by a food fight and dance lessons.

51. Best mixer of my udergrad days wasn’t really a mixer at all but a community service event.  We hosted an afternoon “dance” for a center for mentally disabled teens and young adults in conjunction with a sorority.  The set up was pretty easy, some basic decorations, snacks, soda, and a some recorded music.  We worked closely with the staff of the center.  It was a challenging but worthwhile experience.  Since it was a community service event, we were able to do something with a sorority that otherwise would have been “our of our league” so to speak–this built a good relationship between our groups and we ended up doing more together later.

52. Our fraternity is looking to do a pub trivia style mixer. We got another fraternity to combine with us, so we could match the size of the sorority. Then we came up with categories and trivia questions. winning team got a $25 gift card for each team member.

53. So we’ve had two mixers in the past that have turned out to be a huge hit. The first was a mardi gras/masquerade ball themed event. Everyone comes dressed up with masks, the event starts off formal with more traditional music before slowly transitioning into the chaos that is mardi gras. Beads, hurricanes, grenades, crazy outfits, everyone really enjoyed it.

54. The second one is a bit odd but was a huge hit. And the theme was homeless hoes and hobos. Every sorority member was greeted with a brown paper bag beverage, lots of people wore cardboard signs. We hung up empty beer cans and crumpled newspaper. Everyone really got into it surprisingly.

55.  This reminded me of a joke by David Stollman at the Association of Fraternal Leaders and Values Conference in Indianapolis this past February. In a personal shout out to my fraternity (FarmHouse Fraternity) he joked about having socials themed “farmer joes and garden hoes.”  Obviously just a joke, but I appreciate a person with good humor. On a more serious note, I have found the ladies love to dress up; and let’s be honest, we are happy when the sorority women are happy.  In part, it’s what makes us gentlemen: putting others before ourselves, even with something as simple as a mixer.

56. The three most popular dress up mixers I have seen were themed, “Boots and Boxers” (more clothes are worn than just that), “Favorite YouTube Character”, and of course “America.”

57. Go to the list of other campus organization and invite them to have their meeting at the house instead of at the student center or where ever good for campus outreach and recruitment  after the meeting have pizza or snacks

58. How about an Etiquette seminar followed by a formal dinner.

59. ALUMNI/CHAPTER PICNIC: This is going to be attempted by Lambda Chi/Northwestern this summer.  It’s tentatively going to show the wives (and chapter members/dates, by extension) that there IS life after the “four years” (ahem, ahem) one spends in school w/a chapter.

60. A “WET/DRY” EVENT: How about a sailing party where there’s no alcohol involved? If the campus is near a lake that’s large enough for sailboats, this could be a great idea, especially if the booze factor’s not involved (less chance of a risk management event).

61. The way I look @ it, if there’s a chance someone might be offended by a party’s theme (e.g. “Cowboys & Indians” won’t sit well w/Native Americans, “Mexican Night” has gotten a number of fraternities AND sororities into trouble, etc.), DON’T DO IT.  There’s enough negative stereotyping going around…why feed it?

62. A couple of our more fun date party ideas we did at our chapter were- Happiest place on earth (Disney theme), Can’t wait till new years ( We have a 3 story chapter house and made each floor a different city and celebrated like it was new years for each one- Top floor was Paris, main floor was NYC, and basement was SF), Safari/ Jungle, Famous Couples, and Luau

63. All-Day Party. Outdoor event. Co-ed softball or volleyball. Grilled steaks with baked potatoes and tossed salads. Serve cold beer and red wine. Eat picnic style. Finish with an outdoor dance and fireworks.

64. Winter Wonderland. Takes place on hottest day of the year, indoors with air conditioning turned way up. Fake snow and icicles. Pine and cedar trees. Use blue and white lighting for cool impressions. Build a snowman, carve an ice sculpture, or hold the whole event in a skating rink. Wear winter clothing.

65. Two-Yard Dance. Theme party. Dates must wear an outfit made out of two yards of flannel and nothing else.

66. Campus Croquet Tournament. Early fall event. Use a colorful revival tent, cucumber sandwiches and tea, prep or British clothing. Lawn chairs. Color-coded team mallets and balls.

67. Toilet Bowl. Members vs. new initiates flag football game, replete with cheerleaders and coaches. Loser fetes winner to a party.

68. Seeing Red. All decorations and clothing must be red. Dye refreshments and snacks red with food coloring.

69. Beauty and the Beast. Sponsor campus competition with change used as votes. Find most beautiful girl and beastliest (hairiest, ugliest, etc.) guy. Set up a table in a prominent spot on campus with photographs and other displays. Co-sponsor with a sorority. Screen movies and TV shows with beauty and beast theme. Finish event with a theme mixer.

70. Bayou Bounce. Cut-off jeans and camo, barefoot or boots. Serve crawfish, barbecue, or something equally Southern. Music should fit theme. Decor might be Cajun, redneck, or simply country.

71. Lake Regatta. Set up on a local river or lake. Possibilities include cardboard boat, inner tube, raft, kayak, canoe, or rubber ducky races. Girls in swimsuits and cutoffs. Finger foods and refreshments.

72. Pigskin Party. Honor football team with pig roast or barbecue. Fall event. Have coaches and seniors give testimonials. Finish with an outdoor dance or party.

73. Animal House. Fraternity and sorority members partner to take a busload of orphans or  underprivileged kids to a local zoo or animal park. Cap off evening with a theme mixer.

74. Campus Kidnap/Jail Bail. Set up a mock jail. Issue warrants and have female deputies round up the “criminals.” Charge for bail or release. Or, kidnap victims and ransom them. While waiting, treat them to a party. Might combine with a jailhouse party where couples dress as convicts and match up through matching prison numbers.

75. Patty in the Pasture. Locate a suitable field, rope it off and mark it into hundreds of squares. Sell tickets for each square. Place a single cow in the field and monitor it so that it does not leave the field. The first square the cow relieves itself upon wins a cash prize. While waiting, serve food from tents and party.

76. Twirp Week/Sadie Hawkins. An old event that features gender role reversals. Girls ask guys out. Works best if several fraternities and sororities create various parties and events that dates can attend.

77. River float trip. We float the Buffalo National River here in Arkansas. Camp out along the river. Makes a wonderful brotherhood event.

78. Heaven or Hell/Devil or Angel. Works best in a house with a basement and an upstairs. Sorority members dress as angels on the upper floor. Serve angel food cake and other heavenly fare. Fraternity members dress as devils and demons and set up in the basement. Serve devil’s food cake and similar fare.

79. Beer pong, or water pong with DJ and the winner gets to have their favorite song played.

80. To attract the females, as Frat’s always do…LOL…Mixers that have girls dress as character.

81. Wear a specific color shirt

82. Water event…River, lake, beach get together, etc.

83. Bowling, Hookah lounge, Atlantic City, Scavenger Hunt

84. Mixers… The bane of an advisor’s existence! Okay, not really. Just certain things about them. (Please no more CEOs and Secretary ho’s! And let’s try to stay away from racial profiling and leave that to the TSA. Or at least let’s skip the photo booth.) Guys should keep in mind that a lot of things they may think are lame, girls might actually like: Holiday themed events (Mardi Gras, Lucky Shamrocks, Halloween, Cinco de Mayo, Talk Like a Pirate Day, etc.) can be fun and easy.

86. Off campus events – bowling, Dave and Buster’s (or similar locations), ice/roller skating, sledding or snowboarding, barbecues at a local park (check for necessary reservations; many parks don’t allow alcohol). Be a tourist in your neighborhood. For example – if you’re near New York City, take a trip to see the Rockefeller Center tree, Macy’s windows, and go skating at the Rock.

87. Pop culture events such as a Zombie Walk, Vampires vs. Werewolves, 8 Bit Revival (come as your favorite 8 bit game character – Mario, Princess Peach, Donkey Kong, etc.), Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, X-Men, Wizards and Witches, Don’t Stop Believin’ (channel your inner Gleek), Night at the Movies (roll out the red carpet for a cocktail party/formal type event or just come as your favorite movie character).

88. I’ve tried to encourage our chapters to have themes that incorporate some sort of easy philanthropy collection. (Sounds much nicer to say “Alpha Alpha Alpha and Omega Omega Omega held an ABC mixer and collected XYZ for 123 Organization” rather than “These groups got together and got wasted beyond recognition.”) Here’s some themes we’ve had success with, and a note on the philanthropy attachment.

89. My Paper Heart (by All American Rejects) – collect crayons, construction paper, and similar art supplies for a children’s shelter or children’s hospital ward; attendees wear red, white, or pink.

90. April Showers – collect personal care items for a homeless shelter; spring break theme. Generally popular post-Thanksgiving prior to finals.

91. Bagels at the Beach – collect non-perishables for a food pantry; have “beach” volleyball, bay breezes, and sort of beach attire. Luau type is also fun.

92. It’s in the Cards – collect decks of playing cards, travel games, checkers, extra dice, etc., for a children’s program or shelter; casino night or Las Vegas theme type event.

93. Fur-Ball – collect pet foods, toys, leashes, etc. for a local pet shelter; have a Just Dance or DDR tournament

94. Seussical – collect children’s books to donate to a library, school, or after school program; dress as your favorite Dr. Seuss character, serve Green Eggs and Ham (Easy to make! We used to make it at the Pi Lam house at Pitt all the time for our annual Little Sister Brunch.)

95. Born This Way (by Lady Gaga) – collect baby items for a shelter or pre-school; dress as what you wanted to be in elementary school (superhero, scientist, etc.)

96. Grand Old Flag (Red, white and blue) – collect items for soldiers’ care packages, VFW, Wounded

97. Warriors Project, or other veterans organization; patriotic theme – baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, etc. (skip the pyrotechnics)

98. Decades (40’s, 50’s, 60’s,70’s, 80’s)

99. Blacklight

100. Ugly Sweater (Christmas/Holiday)

101. Birthday Party

102. U.S.A. (patriotic)

103. Harry Potter

104. Jungle Cats & Silly Hats– dress up as your favorite jungle animal or wear a silly hat

105. Masquerade Ball

106. Wild, Wild West

107. Alphabet – dress as a letter of the alphabet

108. Twin – find one other member of your organization and dress the same

109. Disney

110. Superheroes

111. Dress to impress – all the guests where suits and dresses.

112. Mathletes & Athletes

113. The Seasons – dress up as your favorite season

114. Crazy Hair – have all guests make do their hair extra crazy!

115. Black & White Affair

116. Tacky Tourists

117. Hollywood Celebrity

118. Kentucky Dirby

119. Famous Couples

120. Nickelodeon – dress up as your favorite Nickelodeon character

121. Game Night: focus on social games like Apples to Apples, Pictionary, Catchphrase, etc to get your members and other groups to get to know each other and interact.

122. Handcuff Bowling: Great for fun with sororities. Handcuff (please, plastic fake ones) one of each group and bowl. It’s harder than you think

123. Cook outs: If your house or suite area has an outside grill, take advantage of it! There’s something about grilling out and having some music that seems to make people happy.

124. Ropes course: Many campsu rec centers are installing these. Here in Toledo, it is a popular feature for groups to have social events or team building. It’s something different an physically engaging

125. Popular TV show: It seems simple, right? But, theme it out. We’ve had groups use AMC’s The Walking Dead as a social night where people dress up as characters, zombies, and decorate accordingly.

126. Iron Chef / Chopped: Every group has someone that can actually cook. Why not have some fun with it? Gives each group a chance to get together around a central theme with a little competition involved.

127. Community Service / Philanthropies: Your chapters do these already. Why not piggy back your mixers into them? Service hours are much more fun when a sorority is involved. It also helps break your chapter out of typical community service routines. Get creative and do something unique with a sorority.

128. Ice cream is quick and easy to setup, doesn’t cost a lot and gives the members something to talk about.  Even the reserved members that wouldn’t start a conversation at a party find that they have an opinion on the best toppings for an ice cream sundae.

129. Bowling isn’t something that many people are good at but lets you do something while mostly sitting and chatting.  You can usually get cheap food from the bowling alley or delivered for the group (standard pizza / pop) and impress everyone with your repertoire of Big Lebowski quotes.

130. Etiquette Dinner – Educational twist on your standard joint-dinner between a chapter and another organization (usually sorority). Gives the men and women an activity (read icebreaker for conversation), while also serving as an educational program that develops members professionally.

131. Fitness Class – Chapter can hire or request a fitness instructor to lead the chapter and another group in a short fitness class. Instructor can add in education on health and wellness and nutrition. I’ve worked with a few chapters that have found this to be a great activity. The chapters organized the activity to be low intensity so it would be inclusive for all fitness levels and the event is usually lighthearted since many times the exercises (Yoga) can become comical.

132. New Member Lunch and Learn/Meet and Greet – Almost all fraternities and sororities require their members to go through some form of new member education. Why not bring the two new member groups together, hire a great speaker, and give them the opportunity to meet and introduce themselves over a small social activity. One chapter I worked with would bring their new member class and the new member class of a local sorority together for a presentation on Greek values and would then host an ice cream social for the two groups shortly after.

133. Service Activity – Like the above suggestions, service is a great opportunity for a chapter to bond with another group through shared requirements and experiences.  Some chapters have even organized weekly opportunities between their organization and another group for participation. For example, one fraternity and one sorority might each guarantee 5 members weekly to volunteer at the local soup kitchen. Not only does it establish a great community partnership for the participating organizations but it’s great for the partners as well.

134. One additional note for the above activities is that these are great for smaller organizations who struggle to mix with other organizations due to mismatches in size. I have known this to be true for small fraternity chapters when they attempt to arrange mixers with sororities on their campus. While a 30 man fraternity chapter mixing with a 140 woman sorority chapter sounds like a great idea for the men, it may not sound as great to the women. The above activities can be smaller in organizational manpower demands so it will allow for the smaller chapter to grow their relationship with other organizations over time and increase interest in other groups mixing with them.

135. 80s theme

136. Rave

137. What you wanted to be when you grew up

138. 90s

139. Toga

140. Bronze Or brains

141. Abc party

142. Valentines day

143. Cowboys and Indians

144. You are what you eat

145. Greek gods

146. Masquerade ball

147. Rich and poor

148. Sororities, whatever themes come up.

149.   Alumni events with the chapter.

150.  Meet the University’s administration, faculty, and staff.

151. Meet the Alumni of the University.

152. One thing my chapter has done in the past is service mixers. We would get together and make cards for children at a local hospital. Some of the girls said that they liked that even more than their normal “let’s try to have some fun” events, because it gave them something to work on together.

153. Our two best mixer ideas this semester were “thrift shop” which is really popular right now and “fire and ice” which was great for the sororities.

Feel free to add more in the comments section below.

— Pat Daley was a two year chapter president and was his university’s IFC president. He also was recognized as his university, chapter and national fraternity man of the year.  He is the author of thefraternityadvisor.com and The Fraternity Leader – The Complete Guide to Improving Your Chapter.

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Question:

I’m one of the first members to be part of a non-hazing program.  We have about 15-20 of us who were not hazed and 10 that are still around who were.  The rest of the fraternity quit because of the decision to stop hazing.  The problem is, we haven’t improved as a chapter and there is naturally a rift between the members.  Because of the situation our rush, social, dues and brotherhood morale is the worst it has ever been and when alumnae come into town they only want to haze the new members.

How can we fix this without going back to the “old ways” like some members want to do?

Answer:

Eliminating hazing does not make a chapter great.  However, a chapter that hazes cannot be great.

It appears that you really have two issues going on.  First is hazing; second is improving your fraternity.

In regards to hazing, you guys should be commended for your no-hazing stance.  It is extremely difficult to change an established culture in a chapter.  You guys made a move that will ensure the longevity of your chapter and you should be proud of it.

When leaders make a change that is unpopular with some of the brothers, they make the change and move on.  They don’t dwell in the past.  The move was made, now it is time to be positive and put it behind you.

The brothers who are not happy with it have two choices – they can be part of the new fraternity or they can quit.  Of course you hope that the dissenting brothers take the high road and conform to the new mindset of the chapter.  If they don’t though, let them quit.  You don’t need this type of cancer to permeate your new member program.

Hazing may be the issue that has caused a divide in the fraternity, but it isn’t the reason why you are struggling.  You are struggling because your chapter just isn’t very good right now – hazing is just being used as a scape-goat reason.  Fortunately, there are a few steps that can improve your fraternity rapidly.

Improve Your Strength

Your fraternity and your brothers are good at something.  It could be the typical fraternity functions like intramural sports, social or community service events.  Or it can be something completely different like music, hiking or debate.  Regardless, your collection of guys have a strength.

Whatever that is, make that a focus of the fraternity.  If you do, you will see a few things great things happen.

You will see brothers become more engaged because people like to do what they are good at.  Since the focus is on what the chapter is good at, the chances of success are higher.  Everyone likes to succeed, and this will bring a positive vibe in the chapter.

This strategy is not revolutionary.  It is pretty common in business.  GE made it famous in the 80s by eliminating every business it was in that wasn’t in the top two of its industry.  They only wanted to be a part of the things they were good at because it increased their chances of success.  This is valuable advice for your chapter.

Everyone Needs to Look Forward to Something

If your fraternity has gone stale, a probable reason why is there is nothing in the future they are looking forward to.

Talk to the brothers, find out what they want the chapter to do, then plan whatever that is in the future.  Get everyone involved in the planning stage and talk it up like it is the greatest thing that will happen since NC State’s 1983 NCAA Championship.

Of course it won’t be, but that doesn’t matter.  What matters is your brothers will be excited about what the fraternity is doing and what they are doing.  That excitement is infectious and will create a ton of positive momentum.

Hang Out More

The core of any fraternity is the brotherhood.  When chapters struggle, the brotherhood inevitably isn’t as close as they should be.

Fixing brotherhood is easy.  You just need to hang out more.  The more you hang out, the stronger your personal relationships will become.  The stronger those relationships are, the stronger your chapter will be.

Make it a point to invite brothers to be a bigger part of your life.  Are you going to the movies on a date? Invite a brother and his girlfriend to make it a double.  Are you going to the dining hall?  Send a mass text inviting your brothers to join you.  Are you going to play ball at the gym?  You get the idea….

If there are enough guys who make a point to do this, it won’t take long before your friendships improve dramatically.  Stronger friends make stronger brothers which will make a stronger fraternity.

Good luck.  I know it seems daunting to be a part of a fraternity that is struggling.  You cannot and should not try to fix everything at once.  Get a few small wins under your belt.  Focus on getting a little better every day.  If you do, it won’t take long before you see significant improvements.

I realize this is the quick answer to a significant problem your chapter is facing.  Realize that my book was written for guys who are facing problems just like yours.  I wrote it from the mindset of how I would run a chapter if I was starting from scratch.  I think it will really help you with the issues you are struggling with.  To learn more about my book – go here: The Fraternity Leader – The Complete Guide to Improving Your Chapter.

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Fraternity News

Fraternity Scavenger Hunt Offends Everyone

National chapter addresses alleged animal abuse at KU fraternity

Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity chapter banned from USC campus

Subtle pledges steal every copy of newspaper covering frat’s drug bust

Another Fraternity Attacked as Anti-Rape Struggle Heats up at …

Fraternity hosts pizza fundraiser for military heroes

Farmhouse Fraternity Goes ‘Baldacious’ For Cancer Awareness

Three Cornell Fraternities Suspended Due to Hazing Allegations

Jim Tressel, Troy Smith to attend fraternity Casino Night

Sigma Nu member named Fraternity Man of the Year

Fraternity Blog News

Why do people join fraternities? – Phired Up

Should our Fraternity Take on Projects During Recruitment? — The Fraternity Advisor

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Question:

Is it bad to be known as the Fraternity that accepts anyone? Some brothers feel like it is okay to take on ” fraternity recruitment projects” because our chapter currently has people that are “projects” in it as well. However should that be the goal where we take in everybody and not worry about how it makes our image look?

(I should state that the new “project” we’re going to bring in isn’t liked by the majority of the chapter and creeps both girls and brothers out.)

Answer:

The fact of the matter is we are all projects.  We all have flaws, and those of us with ambition try eliminate them and get a little better every day.

Frankly though, your question isn’t about fraternity recruitment projects – it’s about accepting someone into your fraternity who you know should not be admitted.  The only reason your fraternity is considering them at all is because it’s an easy way to boost your recruitment numbers.

You should never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever lower your standards for the sake of increasing your recruitment numbers.

Taking these guys is kind of like a payday loan.  It is great to get the cash now, but you will have to pay it back at 80% interest and that could cripple you.  You must avoid this near-sighted mindset at all costs.

They will rationalize taking a chance on someone because they could be a diamond in the rough.  They will (incorrectly) use a few current brothers (or even themselves) as examples as guys who were admitted into the fraternity and had issues like the guy in question.

Then they will explain that if the brotherhood doesn’t like the guy, they can just kick him out during the new member period.  Of course, you and I know that will never happen.  These are just excuses for guys wanting to take the easy way out.

Why are Fraternity Recruitment Projects Bad?

The true damage of taking on fraternity recruitment projects will hit when he finally becomes a brother.  He will put a strain on the chapter because the brotherhood really doesn’t want him around.

The strain will become magnified during rush and mixers because brothers will be embarrassed by him.  It will especially hurt during recruitment because recruits will not be eager to join a fraternity that preaches exclusivity, but let this guy in.  Of course, then the standards will need to be lowered further to keep numbers up and before long you will have an entire chapter of these guys and your fraternity will be dying.

I realize this all comes off as cruel and heartless.  That is not my intent.  I am looking out for your best interests.

Think about it from this angle – you are in a fraternity because you want to grow into a better man.  To do that, you have surrounded yourself with men who strive for high achievement.  You will learn how to become successful because you have surrounded yourself around men of high character.  You will hurt your chances of success the second you bring lesser quality men into the fraternity because you will now be surrounded by lower caliber people.

Every guy you bring into your fraternity needs to add something to the chapter.

If a guy doesn’t add something you can’t accept him.  All guys aren’t going to add the same things.  Some guys may not be the most ‘popular’, but have other qualities that will make them good brothers.

Your job is to add guys who make your brotherhood stronger.  Do not worry about what outsiders think.  You aren’t building a fraternity for them, you are building it for you.

Finally, don’t ever forget that your fraternity is an elite organization. 

You should have pride in what you stand for, and only invite the most high quality men into your fraternity.  Don’t bring in a bunch of payday loan brothers.

Fraternity Recruitment Projects will cripple you forever.  You and your brothers deserve better than that.

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