Question:

My fraternity recently went under membership review and went from a 50+ man chapter to a 9 man chapter. We are on recruitment suspension until Spring 2013. I want some advice on how to manage a small chapter, dealing with “former” brothers, and how do I manage my loyalties with the new chapter and the former relationships I had with the “former” brothers.

I’m going to break down my response to address each of your three questions. I think it’s helpful to compartmentalize them in order to keep a better focus.

Managing a Small Chapter:

-          Small chapters do present a unique set of issues. There are just as many reports, events, and work in a small chapter as any other. The real difference is that now there are fewer people to shoulder the load. Managing a small chapter requires a significant amount of patience. You know that you are asking a lot of your membership with each and every aspect of your chapter’s operations. Your officers cannot zero in one their projects like in larger chapters and may need more time and understanding as the juggle more in-house responsibilities. You have to keep in constant contact and do everything you can to avoid the “it’s not my job” reactions. With 9 people, you don’t have the luxury of passing the buck. As such, you will want to tap into any alumni help that you can. Given the membership review, you may have a divided alumni base and will need to be very intentional about who you seek out.

Dealing with Former Brothers:

-          It may not always be from such a large and significant issue as a membership review, but this is also a normal problem. Brothers quit or are asked to leave and can create some awful situations. In your case, there is no easy way and there is no silver bullet. I’m sorry, but that is the truth.  You cannot forget that there had to be a reason that 40+ of your brothers were asked to leave the chapter. Whatever their actions were, they were not in the best interest of your chapter. It is never easy to balance the relationships with former brothers, much the same way it is difficult to manage relationships with former co-workers. You have the separate the issues at hand. Are they still worth your time to associate with? Are they still that important of a part of your life? Will your continued association with them help or hurt your chapter? You have to decide if the turbulence a relationship causes is worth maintaining. Stay on the high road, but make sure that you act in the best interest of the chapter and ensure that you are not being unwittingly brought down by your association with them. You may have to steer clear entirely. Only you can decide that for yourself on a person by person basis.

Managing your Loyalties

-          When you pledge and join a fraternity, you take on a great responsibility. Every Fraternity has an oath or a pledge that is sworn. When it comes to managing your loyalties, you have to keep this oath in mind. At all times and in every way you need to live up to that oath. Your loyalties are with your Fraternity. Just like the previous portion of my response, you have to act in the best interest of you personally and in the best interest of your chapter. The 9 of you that remain are apparently the only ones that have lived up to your oath. In my opinion, your loyalties are with them.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

This answer was written by Joe Russo, an alumni brother from Phi Delta Theta and contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

Question:

I am a Brother in a relatively small (compared to other chapters on campus) fraternity. I’m sure you can relate since you built your fraternity from the ground up.

Answer:

If you really diagnose your problem, you will probably find that the problem is with the health of the fraternity.  The issues you are having with recruiting are just a by-product of these issues.

You said it yourself, your fraternity has become more of a business than a brotherhood.  While running a fraternity like a business is incredibly important, without the brotherhood it really doesn’t matter.

Here are 6 things I’d do right now to get out of your rut:

1) Have a retreat to discuss what the fraternity really wants to do.  This doesn’t have to be a hold-your-hands around a campfire affair.  It can simply be an afternoon set aside where the brothers talk about what they want to do.  Find a few ideas that the brothers are really excited about, and then focus on them. The excitement and anticipation of these plans will motivate the entire chapter.

2) Be the start of the solution.  If your fraternity isn’t healthy, then the brothers probably aren’t having much fun together.  You can change that.  When you do something fun, invite a brother to go along with you.  When you go to dinner, invite another brother to go.  When you are taking your girlfriend to the movies, invite another brother to bring his and make it a double date.  The point here is you need to develop these friendships and not take them for granted.  Eventually other brothers will see what you are doing and start doing the same thing.  Before long you’ll have a chapter that does things together and is close because of it.

3) Eliminate the suck.  If things suck – don’t do them.  If you are doing things that the brotherhood hates, that will drain their energy and get your fraternity in a rut.  If your fraternity hates soccer, then don’t force guys to make an intramural team.  If you fraternity doesn’t like community service project X, then do community service project Y that is a lot more fun.  Don’t make fraternity a drag.  When you do the brothers will stop coming around.

4) Learn to recruit!  If you aren’t even getting guys to come to your events it seems pretty obvious that you don’t really know what you are doing.  Some good resources are fraternity recruitment and 5 Fraternity Recruitment Tips for any Chapter.  Also, don’t forget my book The Fraternity Leader where I lay out a complete recruitment program which explains everything you need to know to be successful during rush.

5) Clean House.  It is hard to get rid of your dead weight in your fraternity.  However, if your fraternity refuses to grow, it is probably because there are some guys holding you back.  It could be the brother who never pays his dues or the brother who is an embarrassment at fraternity functions.  Remove these cancers from your fraternity and you will be better for it.  Sometimes you have to take one step back to take two steps forward.

6) You, as a leader, need to embrace the struggle.  I know things are challenging now.  I know you can’t imagine the days when your fraternity is tops on campus.  You can get there though if you embrace the challenge with a superior attitude.  Be positive, and cherish this opportunity you have.  You are going to turn a crap fraternity into a great one.

Learn what you need to do to make your fraternity better.  Try new things, make mistakes.  GROW!  I promise you it will be an adventure you cherish forever.  This tremendous opportunity will serve you well your entire life.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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Question:

I’ve got an interesting situation. Recently one member, a new and more soft spoken member, had his girlfriend stay with him at the fraternity house for several days. During this time another member, older by 1 pledge class & more of a for lack of a better word dick, slept with the first members girlfriend.

 I know that it’s not against the law or bylaws & the (now ex) girlfriend should be held responsible so my question is how do I handle this internally & what can be done to ensure this doesn’t happen again? As you can imagine this breaks down brotherhood at its core & creates an unhealthy divide between pledge classes & that isn’t representative of the type of fraternity I’m recruiting guys to be in.

Answer:

I feel your pain. This is absolutely unacceptable, but also easy to address.

You probably have something like a chaplain. That person is not there to read a prayer before you start ritual. They are there to maintain the brotherhood. His job is to verbally stomp on this guy when he says something like that in a meeting. He’s also supposed to put those two guys in a room together and solve problems like this before they harm the brotherhood.

It sounds like you’re beyond that now, so… If a guy gets arrested for something bad, the fraternity would say its conduct unbecoming and throw him out right? How is this different? I guarantee that catch-all is in your national rules. Disciplinary action absolutely is something you should consider. You need to rehabilitate the character of the guy that did this, and also send a message to the chapter that they ARE going to be the kind of people you’re trying to recruit into your fraternity or there WILL be consequences.

After you get this settled, let me suggest you set up a standards committee. It’s just a formalization of what I told you the Chaplain should have done immediately. In our case it is the Chaplain along with an older prior exec guy (sgt-at-arms) and a younger pre-exec guy (doorkeeper). The committee is about preserving the brotherhood and rehabilitation, not punishment. They can informally discuss/investigate an issue with the members involved within a day or two; before it has time to fester. If it is a problem between members like this then they can talk it out. If it’s something like a fight, damaging property, breaking house rules, etc then they can levy a standard fine or other standard punishment. But, they’ll also look at options like having a guy meet with counseling services or something like that.

If they find the case is serious enough to warrant a Judicial Board then they can refer it up. It works like a grand jury in that sense. What this does is allow you to take a look at those gray area cases that may or may not need disciplinary action, it allows you to address most standard problems without having to do a full blown formal JBoard, and it seeks to rehabilitate members for the good of the brotherhood rather than just come down on them for making a mistake. I know it’s out of the box for most chapters, but give it some thought. Especially as chapters get bigger, it can be an important improvement in how you choose to be more than a social club.

As to that pledge class divide, that shouldn’t happen. You should not be more loyal to your pledge class than other brothers after initiation. You need to do a better job mixing everyone together. Not long after you start having issues with divisions between pledge classes you’ll start getting super cliquish and cease being anything related to a fraternity. Take a look at what you’re teaching in your pledge process. Coming through an experience together is one thing. That’s what happens before big brother/halfway point. The back half is when they’re increasingly accepted as friends by actives and incrementally integrating into the chapter.  We can help you with that kind of stuff, but you need to tell us more about what’s going on in your chapter so we can give you more specific advice on some options you might look at.

Good luck with your situation. I’m glad you’re showing the character to deal with it head on, and especially that you recognize the need to target character in your recruiting process.

– This answer was written by Dennis Nall, an alumni brother from Alpha Tau Omega and new contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

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Question:

I go to school in Utah, so a huge majority of the students on our campus are Mormons, and most of our fraternity brothers are Mormons. Luckily because of this, we have very little issues with risk management or standards issues.

Answer:

I can see how addressing it at a retreat would get a negative reaction.  Essentially these guys felt like they were being called out in public.  That puts brothers on the defensive and never works.  These conversations should be held one on one in private.  You will have much more success doing it that way.  Regardless, let me tell a story….

I have six buddies who were in the military with me.  Most of us are out now, but we have remained close.  One of them is Mormon – and he is as straight an arrow as they get.  He doesn’t drink (won’t even touch a caffeinated drink), smoke, gamble or swear.

We are all big football fans, and we get together once a year for the NFL Draft.  Everyone makes it without fail.

We party pretty hard that night (the other five of us anyway).  We tell a lot of jokes in poor taste and the language is pretty salty.  Out of respect to our friend, we try to curb our offensive behavior, but we normally don’t do a very good job of it.

What makes our Mormon buddy so awesome is he never judges us for it.  He has different beliefs, but never forces them on us.  He is strong enough in his convictions that he can stay true to himself and not let outside influences bother him.  He likes us for us, warts and all.  And we love the hell out of him back.  And he always has an awesome time when he is with us.

The point of the story is you can only control the behavior of yourself.  If you let how others act bother you, then you are setting yourself up to be miserable.  You have to rise above it and appreciate people for who they are – realizing we all have flaws.

The only way you can truly rid this from the house is to not recruit guys who behave in this manner.  But once they are brothers, you are stuck with them.  Remember that brothers handle disagreements in private with man to man talks.  This is the only way you will be able to find common ground.

Question:

We are the first Greek organization on campus (shortly followed by a single sorority) in an area of the country dominated by Mormons, the school government is controlled by people who have their own ideas about fraternities and want to shut us down every way they can. What should we do? I personally lost an election within the fraternity because I “Party too hard.”

Answer:

First off, congratulations on being the first Greek chapter at your school.  Thousands of men and women will get to have the Greek experience because you guys blazed the trail.  That is really awesome.

Realize the people are scared of what they don’t know or understand.  This is especially true of fraternities with all the negative press out there.  It is your job to win the skeptics over.

To do that, you need to confront the issue head on.  Go to the administrators that have the negative opinion about Greek Life and talk to them about their concerns.  Host roundtable meetings so the entire brotherhood can be present.  The very first step is understanding where these folks are coming from.  You can only do that one you establish an open dialogue.

Then, team up with them to accomplish good together.  Find a service project that interests both parties, and then make it happen.  If you do good for your school and community, then they quickly become your biggest fans.

Finally, don’t be idiots.  All your goodwill will be shot the first time you have a 27 keg party that gets busted by the cops.  Or the first time a pledge is seen having dinner with a blow up doll at Bojangles (chicken joint in the south – don’t ask me why I used it as an example).  Be classy gentleman who are great representatives of your school and community.

Do these things, and you’ll be in good shape.

Also, while I know nothing about your personal situation, I am confident you didn’t lose your election because you partied too hard.  That is a lame reason someone gave you to cover up the real reason.  Chances are your ideas weren’t as good as the other guys.  Or they were, but you did not do a good job presenting them.

My advice to you is be the best brother you can be.  You can still be a leader even if you don’t hold a position.  Also, be sure to check out my article How to Win a Fraternity Election to ensure you don’t lose next time.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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Speaking from personal experience, being a Founding Father of your fraternity is a truly special experience. How often can someone say they had a hand in shaping something that could potentially last 50, 100, maybe 150 years? It’s an incredible position of leadership and should not be taken for granted. It is also not an easy position to be in, by any means. There is a tremendous amount of work to be done in order to start steering your chapter towards a healthy, sustainable future. With that being said, here a few things to keep in mind as you and your new brothers begin the experience of a lifetime:

I know – cliche. But it’s true. Wanting to be the best fraternity on campus is quickly as possible is an awesome goal. Don’t ever stop striving to reach it. Most importantly, don’t ever let your current and future brothers stop striving for that goal. Just know that it is going to take some time. There is going to be a lot of trial and error in your infancy, but every mis-step is an opportunity to improve something the next time you do it. Perhaps the most important thing you all need to do is give yourselves credit when something goes well. If you master a certain process or hold a certain event well, realize that future brothers of your chapter that have not even been born yet could one day be holding that same event!

2. Find a balance of work and brotherhood

This may seem obvious, but it is crucially important. At times, the amount of work that needs to be done to create a well-oiled machine of a chapter is going to be daunting. Do not let the stress overwhelm you. Reach out to your brothers to empower them and truly make it a chapter effort. Once the work is getting done, make sure everyone takes time to enjoy the unique brotherhood that comes along with a fraternal experience. Provide opportunities to get to know each other on a deeper level (“bro” dates, knee-to-knee activities, etc.) – after all, some of your new brothers are going to be some of your closest friends for the rest of your life.

3. Utilize your advisors!

There are probably resources available to you from your national headquarters of your organization (staff members, templates for governing documents, recruitment materials, etc) which you should absolutely take advantage of. Some of the important resources available for you to utilize, though, are right there on your campus in the form of advisors. You will likely need some representative from your institution to serve as a faculty/staff advisor. You may even have other advisors (my chapter’s advisory board has approximately 10 advisors). I cannot stress the importance of involving your advisors. We, as students, do not have all of the answers. Our advisors do not necessarily always have the answers, either. Together you can all work together and draw from your collective experiences to be able to work through your young chapter’s issues with ease!

4. Learn to navigate the policies and procedures of your institution

As a new organization on your campus, there are undoubtedly a whole host of rules and regulations regarding campus events, contracts, etc. It is extremely important that your chapter familiarize themselves with these. You are going to want to hold events, be it a social event, recruitment event, speaker/program, etc. Start your chapter off on the right foot and make sure your actions are in line with your institution’s policies. Not only does it establish a tradition of doing the right thing, but it will contribute to a culture in your chapter that will want good men to join your ranks. If you are having trouble locating these procedures, it is a great opportunity to work with your chapter’s advisors!

In terms of chapter operations, one recommendation I have is to ALWAYS be planning a semester in advance. Though this is a difficult place to get to, it will pay off in the end. With large-scale programming, unexpected things will come up and you do not want to put your chapter in a position where all of their work was for naught. Further, it allows the chapter to always be thinking about the future and what work is going to need to be done.

5. Remember the Five Year Rule

This journey is going to be full of great times, brotherhood and, unfortunately, difficult decisions. Enjoy the former and use this strategy when dealing with the latter: what impact will this have in 5 years? In 5 years, the founding fathers are going to have all graduated. The chapter from that point on will be run and populated by the men you recruit. The decisions you are making now have a strong correlation with the chapter that the men of your institution are going to see in 2017. You have expressed the desire to be the best fraternity on campus. I obviously could not speak to what that would look like on your campus, though I would challenge you to examine what that would look like. Constantly considering how your decisions in the present will affect the chapter in the future is a very wise strategy to adopt at this point and will help you make more informed decisions.

Cherish this experience. Learn from this experience. Do not lose faith or your dedication if things do not go exactly as you plan. Chances are that they won’t, and that is okay. At the end of the day, it’s about your brotherhood. Draw from your collective experiences, utilize each other’s strengths, and above all, always treat each other with respect. That is what your organization’s founders would have wanted, isn’t it?

This answer was written by Matt Crimmins, a brother from Beta Theta Pi and new contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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The NASPA reports offers hard data to examine for each and every Fraternity man out there, active and alumni alike. I tried to take an objective look at the information and provide some feedback for chapters out there so that we as a larger Greek family can use the information to our advantage.

Often times, reports like these, whether good or bad, can be incredibly useful tools. The report can be found through the InsideHigherEd.com article here – http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2012/03/13/naspa-consortium-survey-finds-varying-student-perceptions-value-greek-life.

Here were some of the highlights:

Positives

-          The report stated clearly (and the accompanying articles did as well) that Greeks have a significantly higher graduation and retention rate that non-Greeks and are more active on campus in both campus life and faculty / staff interactions.

-          93% of Greeks responded that they were very knowledgeable about hazing policies and what constitutes hazing. 94% reported that they NEVER haze (though we all wish it was 100%)

-          There is a concerted effort on college campuses to increase positive Greek exposure and to increases resources for Greeks to continue to grow and be successful. The article above specifically mentioned programs at Eastern Michigan and Wisconsin-Milwaukee.

Negatives

-          Greeks and non-Greeks are consciously setting boundaries between themselves as student populations. This arises from two numbers. 61% of Greeks feel that they are viewed negatively by non-Greeks while only 42% of non-Greeks surveyed have a negative perception. This is a sizable difference and I feel is hindering the enthusiasm and motivations of Greeks. Yes, we should not be viewed unfavorably at such a high rate, but if we feel that a whopping 61% of non-Greeks feel so negatively about us, that is not a helpful mindset

-          92% of Greeks feel that they improve campus life, but only 22% of non-Greeks feel that way. That is an alarmingly low number.

-          Only 77% of non-Greeks draw their conclusions about Greek Life from interactions with Greek students. Of those surveyed, 14% of non-Greeks NEVER interact with Greeks. Remember Pat’s Positive Public Relations Challenge? This is why. Get out there and meet people. Get out there and increase the number of non-Greeks that interact with you in a good way. Challenge these numbers on your campus. Of course some students just won’t change their minds, but don’t let it be because you never tried.

-          43% of those that dropped out of recruitment did so because they did not connect with active members and 38% left with bad impressions of Greek Life. We cannot be successful if over one-third of those that do not sign bids have a bad first impression. In customer service studies, these folks will then tell at least three people about their bad experience. In truth, we’ve lost four potential members, not one. As for connecting with members, it is important to remember that recruitment is not selling your chapter, but selling your people. People join people.

It is important to remember that this survey is now meant to attack Greek Life. It is meant as a tool for campuses and Greeks everywhere. It is meant to offer insights and to give Greeks some concrete data to utilize as a means of improvement. I would also encourage you to read the InsideHigherEd.com article posted above in its entirety to see more information and responses to the survey.

This article was written by Joe Russo, an alumni brother from Phi Delta Theta and new contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

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Question:

I’m one of the oldest aged members of my fraternity, but I’m also one of the newest members. Our chapter is very young and very inexperienced.

Because of this we keep pushing our alumni away rather than get them more involved. What’s a good way to get back in touch with alumni to show appreciation, and to get them to want to get more involved?

Your situation is a pretty typical one.  Hopefully I can shed a little light on it since I am on the alumni side.  Let me share my personal story to help:

I was as involved as you could possibly be as an undergraduate brother in my fraternity.  I was chapter president, IFC president, school and national man of the year.  You name it, I was it or won it.

However, when I graduated I completely disappeared from the chapter for a few years.

My reasons had nothing to do with the fraternity.  It had more to do with life getting in the way.  My first job had me traveling a lot so I was never around.  My second job was in the military, so I was around even less.  Then I got married and started to have kids.  Fraternity was always important, but wasn’t something I actively pursued or had time for.

However, when I reached my late 20s early 30s I decided that I wanted to give back.

My story about alumni involvement with the fraternity is not unique at all (besides maybe starting a website and writing a book part).  Other alumni feel the same way.  They are just waiting for the fraternity to reach out and ask for help.

Here is the four step process to get your fraternity alumni more involved:

Step 1 – Alumni Newsletter

First, alumni want to get some type of fraternity newsletter.  It doesn’t have to be fancy – a simple email will suffice.  All we want to know is how the chapter is doing.

And when we see this email, we want to know about how the fraternity is succeeding.  99% of us will not respond, but most of us will read it and be interested.  We will be more interested if the information is positive.  Those who read it will appreciate it because even though we aren’t undergraduates any more, we still love the fraternity.

Please remember that we don’t want to hear negative stuff.  This is your way to reach out to your alumni, make it a positive interaction.

Note that there is one exception to this.  This is the time to ask your fraternity alumni for money.  We don’t have a ton, but we will give at least something to about 100 different causes if they ask.  Fraternity is one of those causes (learn more about getting your fraternity alumni to donate).

Step 2 – Find Alumni Advisors

Your next step needs to be reaching out to individuals who want to help as chapter advisors.  There are a ton of guys like me that love to share what we know with younger guys.  Again, all you have to do is ask.  Your goal here is to get a couple alumni involved by developing one on one relationships with them.

There are a couple ways to find the alumni who would be interested in becoming involved.  Ask for volunteers in your newsletter (be sure it does not appear to be a time-consuming commitment).  Send emails to former presidents and ask them to be involved.  Ask the engaged alumni who are involved if they know if anyone who would be an ideal advisor.

This is a key step and your chapter will gain a lot of value from having these guys involved.

Step 3 – Alumni Reunion Events

Once you get key alumni involved as advisors, you are ready to have alumni events that will actually be attended.  Have the alums who are now active help you plan fraternity alumni events.

Normally you want to tie it in with a school function like a football game.  A reunion tailgate is a perfect idea.  Again, have the alumni lay the ground work by sending the invites to get the other alumni involved.  Be sure to make public who is attending.

If I know some of the guys I was in school with are going to attend, I am more likely to attend as well.  Remember that the chapter still will do all the work, you just need the alums to be the face of the event.

You should have a pretty strong alumni turnout if you can get your alumni involved in planning it.

Your work isn’t done after one event though.  Keep in touch with the alumni that show up and repeat these steps a couple times.  Hopefully some traditions will be developed and these events will become easier and easier to pull off.

Step 4 – Form an Alumni Association

When you reach this step, you should be able to form an alumni association.  An alumni association is a huge benefit to a chapter.

Obviously, a strong alumni association can help the chapter financially.  They can lead fundraising efforts that can make a dramatic difference in the future of the chapter.

They also are able to help represent the chapter to the university, community and nationals.  For example, having the president of your alumni association represent the chapter can help a lot when negotiating house leases.  If you get in trouble, having involved alumni advisors can help you mitigate the damage and develop a plan to overcome whatever issues you had.

If you have an alumni association, you will have established that the alumni want to remain involved in the future of the chapter and fraternity and this is how they choose to be active.  You will have achieved your goal.

Finally, be sure to thank these brothers when they come out.  Remember from my story above that there are a lot of reasons to not be active.  As kids grow up, there are even more obstacles that get in the way.

The second your alumni don’t feel appreciated for their contributions they will disappear.  Make it a point to let these dedicated brothers know how much their involvement means to the fraternity.  If you remember that, they will remain involved and will guide your fraternity to success.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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Question:

What should I (or the fraternity) do about a member who doesn’t care about image and how he comes across? I could really care less about how he feels his actions affect him but when it’s detrimental to the fraternity, that’s where me and my president have issues. We have both talked to him but he continues to shrug it off and say that it’s not a big issue and that it’s his choices to make.

I’m going to address this assuming a couple of things.

1) That you have already tried the subtle man to man conversation

2) That appropriate warnings and other informal actions have been taken
It sounds that way. Sometimes, brothers are unresponsive to informal approaches. They don’t see a tangible consequence or feel enabled to continue their behaviors. It is much like disciplining students in a classroom. We want to correct behaviors, so we must make those behaviors result in negative consequences that are undesirable.
With your situation, this brother’s conduct is going to have effects in a few areas of your operations. You will have recruiting issues because prospects will look at him and assume that he represents the rest of the chapter.

Other Greeks will look at him the same way, causing issues when planning socials and interacting with the rest of your Greek community. Administrators will look at his actions and take steps with him, or your chapter, to address the issue. However, this is not a good thing in that it takes the consequences and the process out of your control. If you hope to address it internally, this cannot happen.

Administrators look favorably upon chapters that can handle their business internally well enough to not clutter their schedules with knuckle-head stuff. Not knowing your specific chapter and your traditions, I’m going to briefly outline a few options you may have:

1) Your internal judicial process
- Conduct Unbecoming is a catch all for behaviors that jeopardize the integrity of the fraternity. If the informal approach hasn’t worked, this might be the next logical step.

2) Address the behavior in a chapter meeting
- This does not have the same tangible power as option one, but putting on a meeting agenda and addressing it in your chapter meeting can have an impact. It shows that it is now chapter business and brings it front and center to the attention of your entire membership

3) Limit his exposure and increase your positive exposure
- Think of this as a balancing act. If he brings x amount of negative attention to your chapter, find ways to bring 10 times that amount of positive attention to your chapter. Typically, philanthropic or service based events drive this guy in the other direction. You can never underestimate the power of positive PR and drown out the negative.

4) Find the real source of the problem
- I’ve been around a lot of fraternity men that have other issues that manifest themselves as acting like idiots or bringing bad attention to the chapter. Ask around. Do some research and see what the underlying issue could be. The result may surprise you and not just give you a better plan of attack, but also provide you some perspective.

5) Use your advisor or administrators
- Being disciplined by your peers is one thing. Being disciplined or hammered down on by an administrator or your chapter advisor is another thing. Sometimes, this is like using the nuclear option. However, it can be the only option available is you have not made any headway anywhere else.

This answer was written by Joe Russo, an alumni brother from Phi Delta Theta and new contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

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Question:

So I am the new president of a fraternity with 30 men, we are currently looking for a new advisor. One of the people applying for the role is a more recent alum of our chapter. He is an ok friend; however in the position of chapter advisor I feel he would not affect the house in a positive light.

He was a senior in house when I was a freshman, with that the some of the remaining juniors in my class and 1 of 3 seniors in house know him quite well and are for him as an advisor. The last I have seen of this guy he has been a borderline alcoholic.

Besides being a drinking buddy for some of the guys in the house, he also smokes pot with them. I don’t feel he needs to have an impact on our house, however there are not a lot of people lined up to advise for us.

Any ideas on how to minimize his influence to try and get a advisor position, and or how to offset his efforts with better quality advisors? PS any advice to get more associate members would be good too.

Congratulations on being elected President. Being new to the job, I won’t beat you up too badly about simple mistakes. It takes time to learn everything. You’ll find you have it figured out right about the time someone else gets elected.

Let’s get right into this…

This isn’t your decision. If you think of it like an NFL football team, you’re the team captain. That’s a critically important role, but neither you nor your teammates pick the coach. You might have some input if the owner feels like asking your opinion, but that’s about it.

Sticking with my football analogy, advisors are something like a coaching staff and general manager rolled into one. The chapter will mostly see the coaching role as officers are advised and corrections made in tactical level operations. That’s like game prep and play calling. What you won’t see is the general manager type functions.

A local org is actually three co-equal branches: a chapter, housing corp, and alumni association. Each has their own officers, plans, and priorities. If they’re allowed to run free with no central coordination, they’re going to end up working against each other. The governing board brings them together under a unified master plan that looks 2-5-10+ years out, and coordinates so each group stays on track to achieve their part of the overall team vision. If you think about it like a corporation, each of those three groups is a department and the governing board is the board of directors.

Point being, these guys are appointed by nationals. They are sworn national officers with all powers of your national office. They exist to oversee local operations and represent the interests of the national fraternity. While your advice is welcome, I hope you understand why it’s a bad idea for the chapter to have a major say in who the advisors will be.

Now, let me more specifically address your concerns about this particular individual.

First, the standard position is that alumni should not take advisor roles until they’ve been out of school 5 years. Some of it is about growing up, but it’s more about not trying to oversee the guys you were an active with. In the military for instance, when an enlisted guy commissions as an officer they make sure to assign him to lead a different unit. You can’t effectively lead your old buddies who still think of you as a peer and have seen you do some pretty idiotic things. There would also be an appearance at least that personal relationships impact your decision making. It’s the same logic in wanting an advisor to have some separation before they come back to oversee the chapter. There are other places they can contribute.

I don’t think it’s as cut and dried as all that. I’ve seen young guys become very effective advisors, and older guys that had lost touch with the issues and can never seem to get the handle back. I think it has to be a very case-by-case decision to get the right mix of guys.

Most of the situations where I’ve been involved, your most qualified and talented alumni don’t live close to campus. Fraternities can be big complicated businesses. In the real world you would not hire a 21yo guy without a degree to be the CFO of a company with a couple hundred thousand dollar budget. You’d hire an MBA or accountant. You’d have a lawyer on retainer. You’d have experienced successful leaders and business owners.

Well, the alumni that that meet those descriptions go where the money is, which is not often in college towns. You want those guys making up the bulk of your governing board. You want access to their expertise in running your operation. You want them running the larger operation at the strategic level. If someone has to talk to the President/VP/Dean of your university, or the executive director of your nationals, it’s a guy like that you want to do it. But, he isn’t going to be there right next to your chapter watching your every move. He isn’t going to hang out at a party for an hour to see how you operate. He isn’t going to sit through two hours of JBoard hearing to make sure you’re staying on track. You need a couple local guys that can keep closer tabs on the operation. That’s the kind of role where the right younger alumnus can come in real handy. But, the right guy in that role seems opposite of the description you gave.

With a guy like that, who really does want to get involved and has the potential to do good things, there’s other roles in the housing corp or alumni association where they might be better suited. A job that desperately needs doing, but is maybe more away from direct regular contact with the chapter, and that will give them the opportunity to be mentored up by some older alumni.

Second, let’s talk about drug and alcohol use.

Drugs in the fraternity is a non-starter. You can think what you want about pot – it’s not any worse than alcohol, it should be legalized, whatever. I don’t care. It’s highly illegal and that’s all that matters. It takes some dumb behavior from a couple of your guys and you lose everything. For instance: http://www.unionleader.com/article/20111106/NEWS04/111109932

Drugs can be a huge problem in a fraternity, and very difficult to stand up to. I’ve seen more membership reviews focused on drugs than anything else. When it starts getting out of control in your chapter, how does an advisor that’s smoked with actives even recognize that, much less have the moral authority to start pulling pins because of it?

If you guys get in serious trouble for something unrelated, your advisor(s) are going to be talking to the fraternity executive director and the VP/Dean of your school. They’ll talk about the situation, redirect the focus, propose a reasonable package of education and punishment, and they’ll sell that the group has something valuable to offer. Ultimately though, they’re making a case that outside authorities should not take severe action because they can have full faith in this individual to deal with it and ensure it never happens again.

If there’s even a hint of a rumor that this guy might have smoked with actives, how is that going to work? There is no way. You’re absolutely done. It’d be worse than having no advisors at all. At least then we could blame the situation on a lack of advisor supervision and bring in people to take tight charge of the operation. When advisors are part of the problem, you’re done.

Alcohol use is a bit different. You say he’s a borderline alcoholic? I don’t really know what that means. I could apply the same label to a whole lot of fraternity members. I’ve seen senior military officers and successful business leaders drunk as hell dancing on tables puking in the bushes and sleeping with women half their age.

Hell, I’ve done all those things myself more than a few times. Alcohol is legal once you’re 21. It’s not illegal to be drunk so long as you’re not stumbling around in public making too big a fool of yourself or trying to drive a car. Any health consequences are between you and God. We’d all hope for a little decorum in certain situations, but there’s a time and place to let loose. The only thing that really matters is if the alcohol part of his lifestyle impairs his ability to do the job. If that’s the case, he needs help more than he needs to be an advisor.

Drinking around undergrads is another issue.

Alumni are not individually covered under insurance the way actives are. That includes advisors. Advisors have some limited coverage only while performing functions of their position and while not drinking in the presence of undergrads. In other words, if he comes to a party under pretence of inspecting how you’re doing business then he should not be drinking. If he is drinking, he should not be trying to act like an advisor.

I don’t personally have a problem with advisors drinking around undergrads outside their advisor duties. I think the social connection is good for the relationship. But, you can get blackout drunk and act like a fool, at least not in front of them. We have separate alumni tailgates for a reason at my school. On gameday for instance, I normally walk through the chapter tailgate to say hi and shake a couple hands. I tend to have a beer or two while I’m there, but am not doing anything other than networking. I may make some observations, but we’ll talk about those another day. Then I move on to the alumni tailgate with its better food/refreshments, and commence to enjoying my gameday experience with fellow alumni. Something like that is perfectly acceptable. Hanging around college parties till 2am hammered, making a fool of himself, and hitting on 18yos is not so much.

I don’t know enough about this guy or your complaints with his drinking to say if how big a problem it may or may not be. I’d say alcohol with advisors is a delicate balance that has to be carefully considered on an ongoing basis. A guy that you’re saying has a problem before we ever start this process makes me think he isn’t a great fit. I’m not sure he has the self-control to make the right decisions on the fly.

Summing up, a young guy smoking dope and drinking to excess around the chapter probably isn’t a good fit as an advisor. Shocking right? You knew that before you asked it.

I hope the way I explained it helps you understand the issues a little better so you can look for the right people. You don’t want this guy turned down because he’s a bad fit. You want him turned down because the positions can be filled with the much better candidates you’re going to help recruit.

Where I said this is a national appointment and not your decision, that’s the truth, but if you don’t have an active advisory board in place picking their own members then probably there is little option but for you to make recommendations that nationals is going to take.

Try submitting a bunch of names and letting nationals figure it out. Maybe have the candidates interview with nationals by phone or when you’re travelling consultant is going to be in town. Get help, because this is not a decision you should try to make. As much as you have good intentions, you really don’t have experience with what a functional governing board is supposed to look like or how it is supposed to work.

– This answer was written by Dennis Nall, an alumni brother from Alpha Tau Omega and contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

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This great idea will cause some type of departure from normal chapter operations.  This change will seem dramatic to some brothers.

This handful of brothers will be vocal in their opposition to the idea.  Before you know it they will have persuaded the entire brotherhood to shoot it down. 

The fraternity then resorts to the old, stagnant ways of doing business and the excited brother is dejected.

I know this has happened at one of your meetings because that scene plays out in chapter houses everywhere.  I want to tell you a secret though – it doesn’t have to be this way.

You should never, ever present a major idea or change at a meeting unless you know if it will be accepted with near certainty.

To make sure the meeting will go your way, you need to do the legwork before the meeting.  You need to present your idea to brothers in individual conversations.  You need to get their buy in during these one on one conversations.

The brothers will have suggestions, and be sure to incorporate them into your original idea.  The more input you get an incorporate, the more your idea becomes theirs.

And most importantly, be sure to ask the brothers the question if they will support the idea in the fraternity meeting.

If you do this legwork, you will know with near certainty that your idea will be approved by the brotherhood.   You will get what you want, and hopefully your fraternity will improve as a result.

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