Question:

I’m currently an undergraduate student at William and Mary, and I’m writing a column about changes in Greek housing. To give you a bit of background, W&M is transitioning its fraternity housing from the units, a complex of over a dozen, split-level dorms with 36 beds spread over 2.5 floors, to a new Greek Complex in 2013-14.

The units have been the home of fraternity life on campus for over 40 years, and as membership in fraternities has decreased, it is becoming harder and harder for chapters to fill their individual units. (Chapter size ranges from 20-80 members).

As there is a housing shortage at W&M, the administration started making fraternities pay for any vacancies in their units. This proved to be cost-prohibitive, so some fraternities resorted to sharing a unit, and others moved off-campus completely.

The new Greek complex will have only 17 beds per chapter house, which will obviously be easier for each individual chapter to fill.

So I had a couple questions about fraternity housing nationally:

Is this move towards less beds per chapter house part of a larger trend nationally?

The conventional wisdom, as I have heard it, is that the number of fraternity men has been steadily decreasing. Is this true?

Any other thoughts you have about this change?

Answer:

Fraternities were at their membership peak in the 70s.  Numbers have been in the decline ever since.  A lot of that is attributed to the boom in student population during/post Vietnam.  This is when a lot of universities built houses for their chapters.  Obviously they were built to house the chapters for the membership sizes they were back then.

Two things have happened since.  First, fraternity membership started to decline.  Second, the houses became old.  Houses from this era are now 40 years old, and have had a tough life.  Most need to be renovated or replaced.

Both of these things has had a profound impact on the health of the fraternity.  Chapter membership is down, and because of that they can’t fill their houses.  However, they still have to pay for the empty rooms, which is an extreme drain on chapter budgets.

Think about that impact.  More and more of the brotherhood dues are going to pay for empty rooms.  This means less funding for the programs the fraternity wants to have.

As a result, the fraternity has a tougher time during fraternity recruitment because they don’t have as much to show for the expense of the fraternity.  Membership numbers decrease even more, making this problem worse.

And let’s not forget that these old houses are becoming older by the day.  Students often have much ‘better’ living options out there, and living in the fraternity house is seen as a sacrifice.  This is obviously not a good situation for anyone involved.

I commend W&M for proactively addressing the issue with a housing plan that addresses the needs of their membership.  It looks like they are putting their chapters in a position to succeed, which they undoubtedly will.

I hope this becomes the trend on other campuses because the problems you are seeing at your school is common across the entire Greek Community.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

Question:

We were recently voted on by IFC to become a recognized fraternity of our University. Unfortunately, they voted no. In my opinion, I think the voting went this way because they did not want to compete with us on campus. We have more members as a colony than the recognized fraternities, we have great philanthropy and we are good guys.

At this point I am concerned for my group because hearing no from IFC broke our hearts. We tried so hard to get to this point and now it feels like it’s for nothing. My question for you is, at this point, what kind of advice can you offer?

I feel we will be able to keep this going, but a lot of guys will drop because of the ruling. I want to keep everyone, but where do you think we should go from here?

I am real sorry to hear the ruling didn’t go your way.  I offer two solutions to your problem.

1 – How my Fraternity Handled this Same Situation

I joined a colony at NC State.  We applied to become members of IFC, and were shot down.

We were bummed.  However, we thought about it, and realized the only drawbacks were not being invited to participate in intramurals and Greek Week.  We were really bummed about intramurals, but didn’t really care about Greek Week.  All in all though, it wasn’t the end of the world.

On the positive side, we did not have to pay IFC dues or play by their rules.  As a result, we had parties during times when IFC prohibited it.  We did not have to attend IFC mandatory functions.  We pretty much did whatever we wanted and showed our ass in the process.

We parlayed this rebel attitude into a very successful year.  We had a ton of fun, and we bonded using the ‘us vs the world’ mentality.  Our brotherhood became very strong, and this was the foundation for years of success.

The next year though, the IFC realized that their organization would be better with us in it, and we were accepted.  Ironically, I become the IFC president a few years later.

That being said, this is the wrong approach.  There is a better way.

2 – How you Should Handle IFC Rejection

First, you need to have your nationals lay the groundwork for you getting accepted.  They need to have meeting with the Greek Life staff discussing what your chapter brings to the table and how to get accepted.  While the Greek Life director does not make the decision, they can definitely influence it.

Next, you need to have your chapter’s executive board have a meeting with the executive board of the IFC.  In this meeting, you need to explain that while you are disappointed you were not accepted, you appreciate them reviewing your fraternity.

Then, and this is key, you need to get them to give you guidelines that your chapter needs to meet to be considered for membership.  After the meeting, follow up with a letter documenting these requirements, and courtesy copy your nationals and the school’s Greek Life office.

Now, you have goals you need to accomplish.  Meet those goals, and then apply again.

While you are striving to meet these goals, be sure to build relationships along the way.  Become familiar with the Greek Life office, and ask for their guidance.  Participate in IFC events when allowed – especially community service events.

Also, become familiar with the other fraternities on campus.  Have your president reach out and meet with the presidents of other chapters.  During these meetings, your president should ask for advice on how to make your chapter stronger.  These conversations will lead to your fraternity having allies during the next vote.

If you do these things, you will be accepted into IFC without fail.  You will be accepted because you will have become part of their community.  You will no longer be viewed as an outsider.  They will see your fraternity as an asset to their organization, and you will be welcomed with open arms.

Don’t let this rejection get your fraternity down.  Use it as motivation to get better as an organization.  Being accepted into the IFC will be much sweeter for your brotherhood when you realize you have had to work hard to earn it.

Of course, ironically, a few short years from now your brothers will be complaining and want to quit IFC because they do not see the benefit.  That’s a talk for another day though…

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

From Adam:

You take the site (Total Frat Move) way too seriously. If you don’t like it then don’t visit it. I bet you’re a balanced man chapter advisor too. You see, the great thing about this country is the freedom we have to say what we want and do what we want. People like you who try to impose their views on others should leave this country. Hazing, partying, hooking up with girls, etc, happen but no one takes the site as seriously as you do. Opinions are like a man’s private part. It’s cool that you have your own opinion, but once you start whipping it out and putting it in our face it becomes stupid. Chug bleach sir.

David’s Reply:

Adam is right. Sort of. First, I agree that Freedom of Speech is a wonderful thing. Saying and doing what we want within the law is amazing. Among even more important things, it allows fraternities to exist and grow. I suggest readers do a little research sometime and learn more about how the First Amendment specifically applies to fraternities. Here are some good article to get you started. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/greg-lukianoff/fraternities-and-free-spe_b_912673.html & http://thefire.org/article/7292.html) To summarize we must stand for something of value to society not just in word, but deed to retain the “selectivity” rights we claim.

For example, something that I’m sure TFM fans would care about is that standing for something more than “social” is what allows us to retain our single sex status. We have an exemption to Title IX (of the Federal Educational Amendment of 1972) which would otherwise require us to allow women to be full members. Incidentally, little sister programs like those existing frequently in the South are the single biggest threat to a fraternity remaining male only. Also something many TFM’ers fail to realize.

Back to the question of standing for something. Adam could create an exclusive fraternity for almost any purpose he wants as it is more than just “social.” Some purposes would be prohibited though. One exception would be hazing which in most states is specifically illegal. (And, in the other states the hazing practices that he would likely want to promote are each listed as illegal but called something else: assault, kidnapping, torture, etc.). He can recruit others in the very legal endeavor of promoting his values within his campus community. This is true even if we don’t like his values. Just as the Klan, or any group can so long as they don’t promote, or specifically engage in illegal activity. It would be like Adam decided to start a NAMBLA chapter at his college. Most of us wouldn’t agree with what they stand for – but as long as he doesn’t cross the line into illegal, he has every legal right to do it. (That is so long as he isn’t breaking any university policies or conduct codes which he likely would be. But the increasing limits on the freedom of association on colleges today is a different topic.)

But, here is the problem. The live and let live attitude he wants doesn’t work for the simple fact that Adam isn’t creating a NEW fraternity with which he get’s to choose the stated purpose. He JOINED one that already exists and he is looking to CHANGE what that fraternity is about. (Or, possibly joined a chapter that changed before he got there.) He joined a franchise of a national or international organization whose principles and stated values were established long before he was alive. That fraternity was welcomed to his campus based on those values. (Also, possibly before he was alive.) For example my fraternity Sigma Phi Epsilon is about Virtue, Diligence, and Brotherly Love. If I don’t want to be in a fraternity about those things I can quit and start my own fraternity. I can’t CHANGE what Sig Ep is about and make it about Natty Light, Heroine, and Sex. (Unless done through our national convention. Can you IMAGINE the discussion on THAT vote?!) Fraternities are a franchise just like Holiday Inn, or McDonalds and doesn’t get to decide what they are about once they join the company.

Picture it. A mall rents a storefront to a McDonalds franchise. For years they sell burgers and all is well. One year a new manager, let’s call him… Adam takes over and finds there is a lot of profit in porn. Next to the cash register he places some magazines. Then some videos. He even inserts DVDs into the Happy Meals making some call them REALLY Happy Meals. Soon, more and more videos are there and fewer and fewer burgers. The management of the mall warns them that their lease will not be renewed if things don’t change back. They don’t, and the store is closed. Adam calls a press conference and yells at the management for infringing upon his First Amendment rights! “This is an outrage! If people are offended by our material they don’t have to walk into our store!”

Pretty out there huh? Yeah. A McDonalds would never allow a franchise to stray so far from what they are supposed to be about. Outrageous to think that someone could blame the mall’s management for deciding what stores they want. In our country Universities have the ability to decide what student organizations they recognize. Public ones have less freedom to decide than private ones. Just like local zoning laws would allow for the porn store in some places but restrict it in others. Private colleges, just like privately owned malls can just say no thanks.

TFM’ers prove that our national fraternities have a lot of quality control problems because what is found on campuses isn’t always what they say their franchises are supposed to be.

Are there some funny things on there? Certainly. But, by and large what I have found are things that are the epitome of what is WRONG with fraternities today and what will end the invitation to remain on the American college campus. More private colleges are just saying no thanks, and public ones are pushing the limits of control as far as they can. Does TFM have a legal right to exist? Sure. But let’s be clear – that isn’t the question here. We are simply talking about whether it is good for fraternities or not.

I’m all for a good party. But, when it becomes what you stand for and call it your “purpose” rather than just allowing a social life to be one of many “benefits” you provide, you aren’t a fraternity anymore. You are a bar. And, if that is what you want to be, Great! Go ahead and be that. Get your house re-zoned and get a liquor license. Have a great time and drink a beer for me. Just stop saying you’re a fraternity.

What Adam doesn’t understand is that opinionated people like me aren’t trying to stick OUR values in his face. Adam, we are putting YOUR fraternity’s values in your face, and… we’re calling you a hypocrite. I’m willing to bet that what your chapter really values, or what you want it to value, is contrary to the actual oath you swore. Yes, that oath you swore at initiation means something. It would be like enlisting in the Army, swearing an oath to follow the orders of your superior officers but then thinking you get to choose which orders to follow based on your personal desires. You tell me what fraternity you call your own, and I’ll find a brother who actually knows its real purpose from YOUR OWN ritual. They can tell you it isn’t about hazing, partying and hooking up with girls. I dare you to come out of the shadows and take my challenge. Tell us all your school and fraternity. OWN your beliefs and stand up like a man for them. Honest people can disagree. I disagree with what you say your fraternity is supposed to be. OR, maybe I’m misunderstanding what you say your fraternity should be. Either way, prove me wrong.

Just like Adam, we all have a choice to either to believe that fraternity really IS what they portray through the media & sites like TFM – and think that is OK. Or, we can evaluate what fraternity SHOULD be about even if all chapter aren’t yet there. If we decided it should be about more than the stereotype, we can’t accept members of our chapters trying to live up to that image and in doing so change what we are. It seems like many TFM’ers want to fight for some embattled right to hold unpopular opinions just because we dislike  liberal politics, conformity, or political correctness, or whatever establishment they deem oppressive. I can understand that desire. But those things can be fought elsewhere. Leave fraternities alone.

Unfortunately, I am betting that instead of an informed, intelligent debate about the true purpose of fraternity, Adam and his TFM friends will take the impotent approach of bashing me (even more) from a cowardly little hole.

David Stollman
stollman@campuspeak.com:

From Adam:

David,

First off, I would like to apologize for the chug bleach remark.  While that is how I truly felt, a gentleman must conduct himself better when dealing with another gentleman (I had also had a little too much whiskey).  I am glad that we both agree with the importance of the First Amendment; the belief that men can stand up against each other and disagree is what makes America the greatest country in the world.  You are also right on the social aspect, and especially regarding little sisters and Fraternities.  The Greek Life Office of the university where I finished my bachelor’s degree promoted “big” and “little” sisters for Fraternity men.  That social construct almost single-handedly tore the Greek system apart.  The guys that used that social tool were guys that didn’t have the social capabilities to talk to girls on their own.  So when an 18 year old freshman girl would just get through her pledge process a guy (usually a junior or a senior) would give her a jersey with her letters, in his Fraternity’s colors, and in essence brainwash her into only hanging out with him and his brothers.  The guys would usually bad-mouth other Fraternities to their “little sisters” and try to sleep with them.  Needless to say it brought more gossip and drama to the Greek community then almost anything else.

Stop “Developing”

Personally, I am not a fan of you student “developers.”  From my analysis many of these “enlightened” men were marginalized from the mainstream guys in their Fraternity during their undergraduate experience.  While the “studs” of their Fraternity went on to do big things and make significant moves in the corporate world, the student developers decided to stay around the college and be a “role model” to young men joining their Fraternity.  It’s kind of like the kids that graduated high school and stayed /working there instead of going to college.  Many of you stayed around to turn the Fraternity into what you always thought it should be, but is it what the founding fathers wanted?

Many of these student developers majored in things like “higher education,” and their world is full of very liberal and idealistic theories that sound so good on paper, but when applied in the real world create a culture of entitlement and a false sense of self-importance.  Why is this a bad thing?  Well it’s hard for many of you to understand, many of you guys have your hearts in the right place, but remember that you’re already established and have paid your dues.  So when you only bring your “enlightened” opinions to the table, you are not preparing these young men for the real world.

And that real world… let me tell you, it sucks right now and it’s only getting worse.  Young men now need to be prepared for it, because it’s only going to get harder in their lifetimes.  The economy will get worse before it gets better; we won’t have social security and we will eventually be burdened with significantly higher taxes (we can’t borrow from China forever), there will be more wars, and competition in the job market will be the most cut-throat it has ever been (thanks to how colleges just give away Political Science degrees).  To add onto that, there are a few hundred million young people in Asia who have higher grades then us in math, science, and even speak and write in English better than the average American.   We are in for some hard times.  Also, I could point out to a plethora of studies and statistics that show that students with 2-year technical degrees are making more than university graduates, while accumulating almost zero debt in the process.  Universities and Fraternities that were once elite bastions of success are now watering down their exclusiveness.

What confuses me the most about you student developers and over-analyzing psychologists, is that the more of you that surface, the more problems we have.  Our population grows dumber as “higher education” degrees are being given out more now, than ever in history.  Students are having more and more problems, and you guys always find a way of fixing it by labeling it some new and creative name that you “coined” and giving the student an idealistic way of fixing it.  You all do students a disservice, because instead of treating them like men, you pamper them and tell them everything will be nice and easy.  In essence, your type has helped usher in the “Participation Trophy Generation.”  I believe in tough love, and that is my right.  The REAL WORLD does not care about any issues and all that future bosses care about the bottom line, not about how sensitive and understanding they can be to their subordinates.

Character Building is NOT Hazing

Let us also make one thing straight though, I am NOT a fan of hazing.  What is “hazing” these days though?  Your type considers scavenger hunts, forced dress/memorization, push-ups, bows & tows, and blindfolding to be “hazing.”  I would have to disagree with you.  What I consider to be hazing and highly inappropriate is making pledges do things that you would never do, things such as, but not limited to:  forced binge drinking, sex acts, crimes, etc.  In my pledge process I was broken down, but built back up, and the most important thing I learned in the process was to lose my pride and realize that I am nothing significant to this world.

You see, when an 18-year-old kid comes into college he most likely is on cloud nine with his pride and arrogance shooting through the roof.  The purpose of his pledge process should be to break him down and show him there is a hierarchy, an order, and that he must pay his dues and respect the people that came before him.  I was taught this, I was broken down, and I was built back up in a way where I lost all my pride and understood that at the beginning of any life endeavor I take, I will always be a pledge.

Losing the Pride

The first internship I had as an undergraduate was for a Unified Combatant Command that reported directly to the Department of Defense.  I had a Top Secret Security Clearance, and got to engage in national security matters that most people couldn’t even fathom.  Many students who got internships such as this thought they had reached “self-actualization,” but because of my pledge process I knew that I would have to pay my dues once again.  I was once again a pledge, and for the first few months it was worse then my actual pledgeship, but thankfully I did what was asked with no hesitation and outperformed my peers.  The internship resulted in many job offers and national fellowships in National Security Studies.

As a Graduate student I have been paid to go to an institution that is one of the best in the nation.  This is because as a pledge I was taught that I’m not shit, and that respect must be earned and I must sacrifice to earn it.  It’s funny that you mentioned about enlisting in the Army, because I did that in August.  In a few months I will be taking a job with the United States Army, and once again I will be a pledge.  You may think a young man with a Masters degree would be going in as an officer, wrong.  I will be going in enlisted 18X (Special Forces Recruit), because to be a great soldier I must be a great pledge, and when one goes in enlisted, he is a pledge.  Will it suck?  Yes.  Will I be a better soldier and leader because of it?  YES.  It’s not about the money or seniority, it’s about being the best, and to do that one must experience hell.  Pride must be checked at the door.

Only God Has The Right To Judge

Quit finding somewhere or something to blame and put the blame on the idiot committing the act.  On the website Total Frat Move there are stupid posts regarding hazing and drugs, but it’s just humorous “guy talk.”  No one sees something on the site and does it just to be cool.  You pointing the finger at Total Frat Move is similar to what many people did with the music artists Eminem and Marilyn Manson after the Columbine massacre.  Instead of disciplining the idiots involved, you point the finger and judge someone else for the deficiencies of the idiots who messed up.  Fraternity men across the nation did stupid things before the Internet existed, and if Total Frat Move were to shut down tomorrow there would continue to be idiots that make stupid decisions.  It’s “guy talk,” and any real man knows it’s nothing more than satire.

If you’re a Fraternal gentleman, then I’m quite positive your ritual in some way, shape, or form has something Biblical tied into it.  So you should know that to judge others goes against the Bible.  I urge you to look at Twitter accounts such as  “Elevator Talk at Goldman Sachs.”  Those men practically run world economies, but they still push the envelope with their “guy talk.”  Me, I drink a couple times a month and I DON’T care about “slampieces” or drugs, but when guys get around each other we push the envelope with our rhetoric, and if you never have then I question your sexuality.  My friends who frequent the site are very intelligent and successful men who have their heads on straight, but they check out the site every once in a while to unwind and get a good laugh.

If you look at professional sports such as the NFL, you will see rookies getting “hazed” (and these rookies are millionaires’).  I pray every day that you “enlightened” student developers never set your sights and opinions on the U.S. military, because they really “haze.”  If my Sergeants go easy on me they will be doing me a disservice and I may lose my life because of it when I’m on the battlefield.  The best companies, organizations, teams, etc all “haze” and make you pay your dues, many times worse than pledgeship.  So by treating college men as precious puppies you are only setting them up for a very rude awakening.

RELAX and Confront the Real Problem

Take a deep breath and realize that overcoming stereotypes will make us better men.  Fraternity men will be stereotyped negatively as long as we remain exclusive and our rituals remain secret.  There is nothing wrong with being stereotyped.  On almost every occasion once people get to know me I change their perception and they lose that stereotype they once had.  After college we are all equal anyways, but we hope that what we learned in our pledgeship and Fraternal experience gave us the tools to climb the ladder more quickly and maneuver swiftly through hardships and problems.  A Fraternity gentleman will be stereotyped by the ignorant no matter how nice he is and how much community service or philanthropy his Fraternity did.  To point the finger at others is the most dangerous thing one can do, but if you really want to point your finger at a problem (this will come as a shock) then point at the National Headquarters of many Fraternities.

In my analysis, National Fraternity headquarters are becoming the biggest threat to the superiority and sanctity of Fraternities everywhere.  They are putting chapters at every school they can and are pushing their chapters to grow as large as possible.  Why?  Well for more money of course.  I love capitalism, but our respective national HQs should not.  By aggressively expanding and promoting awards such as “100+ man Chapter” awards, they are watering down the experience every member has.  It shouldn’t be about quantity, it should be about quality.  That is where the main problem lies.  Instead of having solid chapters around 50-60 men that can be properly molded and taught, the norm is quickly becoming 100-200 men chapters that almost mimic gangs with no direction, meaning, or sense of true brotherhood.

So in conclusion David, I think we both believe what a Fraternity should be, we just have different methods of getting there.  Myself, along with many of my “TFM friends” idolize the men who came before us and built empires out of nothing.  We idolize our fathers who fought in Vietnam, our grandfathers who fought in World War II, and all the men that built this great country with nothing more than ambition.  Have you stopped to think that many of the guys who get on Total Frat Move do so just to vent?  I love laughing at the site, but when I was Vice President of my Fraternity we had the highest philanthropy and community service numbers in our history.  All I want is for Fraternities to have that prestige and superiority they once had before they became a mainstream product.  We just have different ways of getting there.  Outsiders or “GDIs” as the TFM site-goers would call them will always dislike us.  Why?  Because they didn’t get a bid or they didn’t have the money for dues.  Remember, no one regrets going Greek, but there are many people in this world who look back and regret NOT going Greek.  With success comes hatred from the masses.  Want an example?  Look no further than Tim Tebow.

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

Obviously, a lot of the stuff is hilarious.  As a fraternity man from a conservative school in the south, I can appreciate a lot of their humor.

I like the hunting and dog photos.  I love celebrating Bush and Reagan.  I like how awesome fraternity houses are recognized.  I think some of the older fraternity pictures they get their hands on are pretty interesting.

They also do a great job promoting patriotism.  As a guy who has been shot at in Iraq and did two tours over there, it always makes me feel good when I see someone talking about America with pride

Does the good outweigh the bad though?

The Bad

Unfortunately, the site feeds into the worst possible stereotype of fraternities.  It celebrates womanizing, hazing and drinking.  Animal House damaged the image of fraternities forever, and this site aims to cement those beliefs.

A lot of the content is in bad taste and is the exact reason why a lot of colleges are making it tougher and tougher for fraternities to prosper.

Of course, this is all done under the guise of humor.  However, if  you feed the stereotype enough – does it become true?

My View

I think totalfratmove.com is an awesome concept, but wish fraternity men would not submit content that is obvious poor taste.

While I am sure the intent is funny, collectively a lot of pictures/comments with questionable taste makes fraternities and fraternity men look really bad.

I am very curious to hear your thoughts on the site.  Do you think TFM is good or bad?  Leave your comment below if you have an opinion.

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

Question:

How do we get the school off our fraternity’s back about being ‘racist’?

Talk about a loaded question.

My first thought is that there has to be a reason why the school thinks your fraternity is racist.  I’m not sure what exactly you guys are doing, but that is a pretty strong label and isn’t thrown around loosely in a university setting.

Also, the way your question is phrased is pretty alarming.  Maybe I’m reading into it wrong, but it seems like you are more concerned with your fraternity’s image than the actual problem here.

Regardless, here are the 5 ways I’d approach this problem if I were a fraternity president:

1)      You have to fix your house before you can fix your image.  This is done a couple ways.  First, you must create a culture where discrimination isn’t tolerated.  There has to be a group of brothers who will step up and not allow prejudice to happen. This group has to grow as time progresses.  Eventually, you will create a culture where discrimination isn’t tolerated.

2)      You have to recruit members who are not prejudiced.  Does this mean going out and recruiting students of other races/religions so you can meet a diversity quota?  NO!  This means recruiting men based on their accomplishments and their character.  If they are of diverse backgrounds, great.  However, a brotherhood of high character will always respect others regardless of their differences.

3)      Discuss this issue with those you have offended.  Maybe they interpreted an action by the fraternity the wrong way.  Maybe they heard gossip of something that did not happen.  It is up to you to set the record straight.

4)      Be sincere.  People will see right through your fraternity being fake.  Holding events with the intent that outsiders will see your fraternity as being tolerant is the worst thing you could possibly do.

5)      If you are truly committed to being tolerant of others, have your fraternity promote a program that spreads this message.  Hosting a speaker on diversity is a great idea.  Participating in my fraternity’s  Elimination of Prejudice program is another great program.  If this is really important to you, take the lead in sharing the message with others.

Finally, realize that focusing on what others think of you is the quickest route to failure in any situation.  Your brotherhood has no control over the thoughts of others.  You shouldn’t waste time worrying about that.

Instead, your fraternity should focus on being the best men they can be.  Your words and actions will dictate what type of men you are.  If you focus on improving yourselves, I promise you that your image problems will take care of itself.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

Question:

I have heard about a fraternity that will be recolonizing on my campus in about 2 months. I wish I could join their fraternity however unless I am able to get their expansion coordinator or recruiters attention, which I have been wondering from the past days how to get a hold of them, I am afraid I may not be able to rush them until they are fully colonized which will be time.

Until then as I would like to join their fraternity sooner, may I ask what do you suggest to be proactive in the meantime? How should I get a hold of the people in charge of expansion who I do not know too well? (I don’t want to vouch for myself personally).

This is an easy one.

First, make sure you know what fraternity is colonizing.  If you are unsure, go to the Greek Life office and ask them.

Then, go online and find the contact info for the Executive Director of the fraternity.  Write him an email explaining that you are interested in joining the colony and would like to learn more.

He will put you in touch with the individuals who are leading the expansion.  I promise they will eagerly contact you and try to bring you in the fold.

A couple quick points though.

Make sure that you are comfortable with the situation.  Starting a colony is VERY difficult and most fail.  Be sure you are willing to put in the work necessary with these particular guys.

While it is pretty awesome starting a colony, remember that you are still joining a fraternity.  If you don’t like the guys you are joining, then you will not have a good fraternity experience.

Finally, realize that the national fraternity is investing a lot of money and manpower to get this colony off the ground.  They are using these resources to find leaders to spread their message and values on your campus.

You would be doing them a huge favor by reaching out to them and introducing yourself.  They would also be doing you a huge favor by introducing you to a more rewarding college experience.

Good luck!

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

Chapterspot has a way to automate this process which makes it really easy.  I highly suggest you check out their free service.

Regardless of what system you use, you need to be sure you have a good contact list in order to start engaging with your alumni.

Step 2: Get your website ready for alumni visitors

Create an Alumni page if you don’t have one (explain that you are making a new initiative to communicate with all alumni)

Put an Events widget showing upcoming Alumni events

Put an Alumni registration form on your Alumni page/Homepage

Step 3: Post Alumni Updates!! (this is the fun/important part)

The trick is posting often and posting consistently.

1. Pick an alumni you know well, call them, and ask them to answer a simple survey.  Here are good sample questions:

What’s your occupation?

Where do you live?

Describe your average Friday night:

Any other alumni/actives living close to you?

Are you Married/Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Single?

What’s your favorite fraternity memory?

What Alumni should I interview next?

What do you think of our new website?

Have you posted a link to our new website on your Facebook?

2. Post the survey as a News post on your Website (make sure you have a News widget on your homepage and on the Alumni Page)

3. Send a Message to all your Alumni.  Here is a sample of what it should look like:

Alumni –

We just posted our interview with Brother John Doe. To see what John says he does on his Friday nights, click here to visit our Alumni page on our new website: [YOUR ALUMNI PAGE LINK HERE].

We’ll also tell you who John asked us to interview next week! New interviews are posted every Friday!”

4. Post the same message on Facebook/Twitter in case some Alumni aren’t in your email system (*that’s why you need the alumni registration form)

5. Reach out to the next Alumni and continue the trend!

Tips:

Keep to your routine! Make sure to have a post every Friday no matter what. Once you miss posts, you lose reliability.

Collect surveys whenever you can! Did you run into an alumni at a BBQ? Survey them, save the responses in your phone and when mid-terms come up, you’ll have an interviews saved up.

Things moving along quickly? Great – start thinking about featuring Alumni businesses!

Check your database before calling to make sure you have their latest contact details

Questions:

Brothers: What survey questions do you think would be good to ask?

Alumni: How should Actives grab your interest?

This answer was written by Brendan F. of Chapterspot.com and contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

Question:

Should Our Fraternity Get a Dog?

Not only no, but HELL NO.  This is a very, very bad idea for the following reasons:

1)      It is cruel to the dog.  You fraternity house is nasty, I’ve been there.  That isn’t a proper environment for a dog.

2)      Dogs are expensive.  Shots, food, vet visits, treats and grooming cost between $100 and $200 a month.  Also, you will have bigger expenses like getting the dog fixed.  If you don’t do those things, you are treating the dog like crap.  This is an expense the fraternity cannot afford.

3)      Dogs need exercise.  They need to be walked.  This will turn into an annoying chore for the brothers after about 2 days.

4)      Dogs crap – a lot.  Your backyard will become a mine field.  You will no longer be able to use it for parties.  If you don’t have a backyard, then you will have to walk to the dog so he can crap.  And trust me, it isn’t a lot of fun walking a dog at 6am when it is 20 degrees outside because he needs to go.

5)      Dogs don’t go home for the summer, spring break or Christmas break.  Who is going to be responsible for the dog during these times?

6)      Dogs are destructive.  Dogs chew stuff, pee on stuff and knock things over.  You probably have enough guys in your fraternity who do those same things.  You don’t need one more.

7)      Dogs shed.  Like I said earlier, your house is nasty.  Do you really want to add dog hair to the nastiness?

8)      It is illegal and immoral to give a dog beer.  And trust me, some idiot who deserves to get his ass kicked will do it.

9)      You don’t have time to spend with the dog.  Dogs need companionship.  Fraternity men lead busy lives.  They simply don’t have the time to spend with a dog while in school.

10)   The idea of shared responsibility won’t work.  Look at your chapter operations now.  Is the work spread out equally among all the brothers?  Of course not.  The same will happen with the dog.  One guy will end up doing all the work.  This isn’t fair to him or the dog.

If you read the above reasons, you probably think I am not a dog lover.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  I have two dogs that are awesome.  Because of that, I realize the commitment and expense it takes.

It is much better for all involved for your fraternity to not get a dog.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

Encourage prospective recruits to leave their contact information with you!

After your visitors submit the form, your recruitment officers will be emailed their names, phone numbers and other details (it’s also saved in your Recruitment Database).

Some chapters make the mistake of putting the sign-up form on its own Recruitment page but Webmasters should always keep a short and simple recruitment sign-up form on their homepage.

The simple motion of a scrolling Twitter feed conveys that your chapter is active and makes your website look trendy compared to other groups/clubs on campus.

Don’t have your own Twitter? No worries, it’s perfectly fine to use your fraternity HQ’s Twitter feed –it will still make your chapter look active.

#3 Image Gallery

It’s a great idea to place a small Gallery on the homepage showcasing recent activities and great moments. Galleries are excellent opportunities to impress prospective recruits.

But… avoid using multiple/duplicate images of one event on your homepage. Try to find 1 or 2 images that highlight a recent event and aim to show as many different events as possible. If you have 10+ images from one event, pick just 1 and save the other 9 for an album on one of your inner pages.

Lastly, make sure pictures are up-to-date! Using pictures on your homepage that are older than 3 months old will make your website look neglected.

#4 Recruitment Calendar

Place an Event Listing widget on the homepage to showing your next 3 to 5 recruitment events and put it right next to the recruitment sign-up form.

*Remember that your goal is to get prospects to see WHY THEY SHOULD JOIN your organization. Consider showing a list of your upcoming socials, academic, and athletic events that are members-only as well.

#5 Recruitment Officer Contact Information

Make sure your chapter’s Recruitment Officer can be identified (and it’s even better if there’s a picture or link to their Facebook Profile).

Prospects that are invited to your events will want to introduce themselves. This makes it more comfortable for the prospect knowing he has a point-of-contact with the chapter.

This is also important so that your Recruitment Officer can have the opportunity to meet the prospects and introduce them to your other members.

This answer was written by Brendan Finke of Chapterspot.com and contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life

Question:

What kinds of things should a fraternity look for in an alumni advisor? What things should they avoid? Is age an issue?

Answer:

I have been asked this question time and again by groups when their advisor has left or they are a new fraternity. The first thing I tell them is to have a list of expectations for their next advisor. It can be something simple (come to meetings once a semester/quarter) or extensive (meetings/talk to the new members/etc). Once they have done that, then I tell them to start their search.

In a perfect world, you should have a group of people who are willing to advise the fraternity. In my fraternity structure (Phi Kappa Psi) we ask for at least 3 Brothers to work with the groups. One serves as the Chapter Advisor and the other 2 as assistants. That doesn’t always work (places where there aren’t a lot of alums, etc) so we require that there be at least 1 guy there.

You want your chapter advisor to have some enthusiasm for the job. You want him to be excited about the possibility to mentor the group. You would like him to be excited about FRATERNITY – not just your fraternity or just your Chapter, but for him to understand that you are a part of something much bigger than your little speck on campus. You need him to understand that to help protect the undergraduates from all of the things that might get in the way of their excellence.

You also want him to be excited about the chapter. He needs to speak of his membership in the present (I’m a Phi Psi, not, I was a Phi Psi). He has to be the biggest cheerleader for them, while also tempering that with some realism. I often say that my job is to be a cross between a slightly stern Dad and a cool uncle.

Age? If it’s someone from the same chapter, then you’d like them to be at least 5-7 years out of school. That way he’s not really friends with anyone currently in school. That can make for some pretty interesting conflicts. If he’s not from the chapter, or it’s a colony situation, then age doesn’t matter at all, so long as he has a good head on his shoulders and wants to help the undergrads succeed.

As the school year has already started for one of my chapters and is about to start for the other one, I’m really excited about the year. I know that I’m going to change the lives of some young men and I can’t wait.

Fraternally,

Marc A.S. Dumas

– This answer was written by Marc A.S. Dumas, an alumni brother from Phi Kappa Psi and new contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

About Marc:

In 1991 Marc helped found the Colony that later became his Chapter (in 1993) of Phi Kappa Psi at DePaul University in Chicago. When they started there was only 1 national fraternity on campus and a bunch of locals. While he was in school, he served as the #3 officer in the Chapter, and was elected President of the school’s Greek Council, the first African American ever elected before or since. He was awarded his chapter’s Brother of the Year 2 years in a row, Fraternity Man of the Year in 1993 and Student Affairs Senior Leader of the Year. Now they are the oldest of 6 national groups and the system is growing everyday, with 4 more groups scheduled to come in the next 3 years. He has served as the Chapter Advisor since 1999, after stints as the House Corporation President and President of the Chicago Alumni Association. In his time as Advisor, his chapter has doubled in size, increased its community service by 65% and its grades have gone up 1 full point (from 2.09 to 3.1). He has been awarded the Chapter Advisor of the Year award 8 times at DePaul. In 2003, he decided to help start a Colony at the University of Illinois at Chicago and a year later they were chartered with 37 men. With the exception of 2 years (he was having children and my wife made me drop one) I’ve been their only Chapter Advisor. He has been awarded the National Chapter Advisor of the Year award in 2003 and been a finalist 4 times.

Marc lives in Chicago where he works in sales (he sells apparel and promo merchandise to college groups) and raises his 2 children, Olivia (6) and TJ (3).

Receive a FREE Copy of
The Fraternity Mystery

Join My Email List and Discover the
10 Secrets to Fraternity Life