Great article that describes how fraternities should keep their private discussion private – just like Augusta National.

Princeton Freshman who Rush Frats Face Suspension – Huffington Post

A very negative article describing how Ivy League schools are forcing freshmen to defer rush until their sophomore years.

Fraternity and Freedom – Fraternal Thoughts

Very insightful article regarding the self-government of fraternities.  Is defiance a part of your DNA?

To End Fraternity Hazing, End Boozing First – The Chronicle

The author obviously has an agenda (he is a lawyer that represented a kid who got hazed) and is jaded about fraternity life because of it.  The comments about the article are very interesting….

Mentoring – A to Z – Xylograph – Catalyzing Leaders

While the theme was a stretch, the article actually makes a great point.  You can’t un-do bad mentoring – it will always be part of the person who you mentor.

Leadership vs Friendship – Purpose Driven Relection

Can you be an effective leader and still a close friend?  I think after reading this article you will agree that the effective leader is actually a better friend.

If you have any articles you would like to share – please let me know about them — Contact Me.

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Question:

My fraternity has many people who smoke weed. The problem is that it can be detrimental to academics and distract others from work. While smoking is illegal, no one is going to evict a brother for smoking. We have a policy that after 11 PM, people can smoke in their rooms if they towel the door, etc. While you cannot smoke inside the house during the day, you can smoke outside still. There has been problems with the smell in the past and general public relations regarding smoking. We are also working on changing the culture of the fraternity to involve more academics and potentially less smoking. One can always party, even after doing school work.

Answer:

I’m not the politically correct guy that’s going to quote rules to you when I know that’s not reality. I think it’s unconstitutional for the drinking age to be 21. I think hazing is worse because we criminalize wearing the same outfit and doing some grunt work alongside beating someone with broomsticks till they pass out, rather than keeping the constructive training techniques in the open where they can be monitored. And, as trashy as I think marijuana is, I really wouldn’t care one way or the other if it were legalized for recreational use. BUT, all those things are illegal and the consequences of getting caught are catastrophic.

Let me just show you what that looks like:

http://www.dailygamecock.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=3962:alpha-tau-omega-shut-down-on-drug-charges

http://www.seacoastonline.com/articles/20111108-NEWS-111080398

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2012/02/15/multiple-tcu-students-arrested-in-campus-drug-bust/

http://nymag.com/news/features/70308/

http://www.fox19.com/story/17361118/fraternity-loses-its-charter-at-local-university

I’m not going to, but I could talk some details about those first couple cases because they involve my national fraternity. I could explain how those chapters were caught up in a witch hunts. How it was really a few individuals doing stupid stuff and far overblown, but they made two big mistakes. They tolerated their brothers doing that; and, they gave authorities an in to take them down.

I’ll be the first to argue that fraternities should not be held responsible for the individual acts of a member unless they are on our property, at our event, or acting in their authorized capacity as an officer or member of our organization. They should face criminal and disciplinary action on their own and not drag our organization down with them. Schools, in an inability to control individual students, way too often pass the buck to us like we can do something more than they can. That’s cowardly on their part and hurts us in the process.

That said, when it’s on your property you’re liable for it. If they’re paying rent with money they earn from selling dope on the side then the state can seize your house – and you’re still stuck with the mortgage. If they’re just smoking on the grounds or at your event, then you deserve to lose your charter. If you know about it and you don’t stop them, then it’s your fault. That’s called bystander intervention, or lack of it in this case.

There are a lot of resources out there on bystander intervention. You can work with your nationals and Greek life office to develop programming on that issue without telling them why. There are some great speakers out there that it sounds like your Greek system could benefit from too. One way or another, you need to install that culture in your chapter and quick or it’s a matter of time before you’re done.

You got to be kidding me with towel under the door and smoking outside (where presumably it’s possible someone could see/report them). You actually have a rule for when people are allowed to smoke versus not. That’s worse than being ignorant.

I would hope you do a better job of taking guys that don’t contribute to this culture, but at the end of the day what people do on their own time in the privacy of their own home is not necessarily your business until they make you look bad. But, in your house? Absolutely positively not! You have to stop that decisively and immediately.

I dealt with this as an undergrad and a few times at different chapters as an advisor. It honestly is one of the hardest cultures to break, but you have to do it. The consequences are just too high. I think you could just about kill someone on video and the consequences to the long-term survival of the chapter would not be as severe, though please don’t test that theory.

As an advisor, honestly, my solution would be membership review. At minimum, I’d kick out the worst offenders to make a point. If need be, I’d clean house as I have to and start over. I’d rather have no members and a charter than keep people that are going to continue a culture that seriously endangers it.

You need to do some soul searching about how invasive this culture is. It sounds deeply seated. If you got exec to stand up to the chapter and say no more (in the house, at events, with letters on, or in any situation where someone would associate you with the fraternity) would the chapter comply or not? If not then you need help from your advisors &/or nationals to cut deeper. I know it sounds painful, and it is, but it’s a little pain now or catastrophic charter loss and maybe never coming back if you keep trying to dodge the bullet. You have to show some personal courage in standing up to your friends and doing something unpopular. That’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in life. Standing up to that challenge says something about you. Letting it go by says something too, and that’s not who you want to be in life.

Good luck. Keep us updated on how it goes.

– This answer was written by Dennis Nall, an alumni brother from Alpha Tau Omega and contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

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On February 18, 2011, I was working when I received a hysterical call from my son Danny’s friend, Sean. My son, Danny, was 18- years-old then, and was attending University Nevada Reno. Sean explained frantically how he had just taken Danny to the Emergency Room at St. Mary’s Hospital in Reno, Nevada. Sean described how Danny had stopped breathing and was inflicted with seizures.

Due to my disordered and muddled thoughts, my boss had to take lead on the telephone. I collapsed. I do not recall much after that conversation, other than my older son Ryan picking me up for our journey to Reno from Sacramento, California.

I do recall giving the doctor permission to treat Danny, and asked if Danny would be brain damaged. The doctor explained it was too early to tell. This was among the worst life changing events that I have ever experienced – other than my first husband dying years earlier. When it is your child, as all mothers must know, it is distressing to hear your child is in danger, especially when there’s nothing you can directly do to protect them…need I say more…?

Halfway on our frantic journey to Reno, the doctor called, “Mrs. Dubyak, your son has made a miraculous turnaround. We did not need to assist his breathing and he has come out of his coma. It is likely he will have a full recovery.” The doctor also added that he did not realize I was driving over Donner Summit from Sacramento; it was the worst weather of the year. I thought, perhaps, the doctor was just trying to get me to calm down, and that I would actually be walking into the worst case, the reality of my son facing severe brain damage. These were the longest hours of our lives…

I am still amazed at how the community pulled together. The highway looked like a parking lot with all the cars at a dead stop. Ryan orchestrated about 12 cars to move out of the way, telling them about his brother’s accident. We were able to pass through by driving on the shoulder. We maneuvered our car to the front of the traffic cluster, and a kind man gave us his resident pass so we were able to cross over Donner Summit.

When we finally arrived at St. Mary’s Hospital, I guardedly proceeded to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) approached Danny; he was laying there with his eyes closed. All I could hear was my heart pounding and the beeping of Danny’s heart monitor. I gently touched him and said his name. He opened his eyes, looked at me and said, “This sucks!! I cannot play Lacrosse, snowboard, or even drive for 6 months!” Regardless, I’m just thinking it is a miracle. “Complain more Danny, complain more, and let me hear your voice!”

Our family was very fortunate since our son survived. Danny had to withdraw from UNR because of the injury and the anti-seizure medications. He is blessed that he survived this incident. A miracle happened, and I thank God every day. In my research I realize how extremely fortunate our family is, as many students actually do not live through these accidents. Subsequently, this is my story demonstrating how and why C.A.R.D.D.S was founded.

The Avoidable Incident:

Before the life changing call, February 17, 2011, Danny was just 18-years-old, a freshman in college attending UNR. He and a couple of friends were in the third floor dorms drinking alcohol. Danny recalls nothing of this incident. Therefore, we can only speculate based on the details I was told, and what I have gathered through investigation.

Intoxicated, Danny and his buddy were descending the stairwell when Danny fell. He was knocked out cold. His buddy yelled for help yet no one wanted to get involved because they didn’t want to get into trouble for the under-aged consumption of alcohol. I was told that although Danny hit his head so hard that the noise woke everyone on the third floor no one took action for fear of getting into trouble. In fear of consequences Danny’s buddy ultimately chose to carry my son to his dorm room, leaving him on the bed alone, all night. Danny’s roommate, coming home later, saw that my son had vomited while sleeping in his bed. The roommate dismissed it, drawing the conclusion that Danny must have been “partying.”

The next morning Danny’s roommate woke up and looked over at Danny again, and saw him staring blankly and trembling; He decides to get a couple of other buddies to check it out. Finally, his friend Sean hears the commotion and makes the life changing decision to take Danny to the Emergency Room, ultimately saving his life. While in route to the ER, Danny stopped breathing, started having seizures and horrifyingly fell into a coma….

This string of events provided The Perfect Storm.

Can you see what important action is missing? All of these guys were afraid to call 911 or seek any other help; they were terrified about getting into trouble to the degree of risking their friend’s life. Danny’s injury was diagnosed as a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), bleeding on the back of his brain and severe bruising on the front. The doctor said it was one of the worst falls he had ever witnessed, and again stated it was a miracle that he came out of the coma, and is expected a total recovery. I, of course, attribute this to God. Danny’s total recovery is due to conclude in the near future. The road has been long and it is a journey that could have been avoided with the proper training and awareness we share through C.A.R.D.D.S…

Danny, who is an excellent student, consistently maintained a 4.0 – 4.50 GPA throughout jr. high and high school. He was living his dream, playing Lacrosse as a starter, and learning through a university. His dreams were shattered with one bad decision. First, although tests showed Danny did not have much alcohol in his system, he should have not been drinking considering he was underage. Second, if his friends would have gotten him proper medical attention, he would not be where he is today; the seizures could have been prevented and he, maybe, would have been out of the game for 1 week.

We as parents would all like to live in a perfect world where our children do not drink or do drugs however, statistics show that only 1 in 100 parents believe his or her child drinks alcohol or takes drugs, when in fact they do! I am meeting many people who, same thing, buddies puts their friend in the dorm room alone or unattended only to discover they overdosed. In fact, in my research it happens a lot. My son Ryan’s friend, Brandon lost his brother when he died at UC Santa Barbara a couple of years ago; same thing, he was left alone. They got scared and put him in his dorm room. I recently met a lady, Susan who works at our local building department. Susan’s brother also named Danny, was side swiped 20 years ago leaving a Fraternity party at Sacramento State University. Same scenario; everyone had been drinking, his buddies put him in his dorm room alone, he died too.

We need to get the word out to these students, raise awareness to the statistics! Not to minimize what happened to our family, because believe me it has completely thrown us for a loop however, in my research, I realized we are blessed; many students do not pull through and because of that, my heart bleeds for the families who have lost a child.

Many people ask me if I am upset with Danny’s friends for leaving him alone that night. I can say at first I was; they should have known better. However, I now realize they are living the same nightmare we are, just in a different way. Imagine knowing you could have prevented something but you chose not to because you were scared. Then live with the fact that your friend died, or was severely injured, because you failed to act accordingly.

Ultimately, C.A.R.D.D.S is dedicated to getting a simple message out; when in doubt call 911! I have experienced so much involving alcohol incidents; my first husband was killed in a car accident involving a drunk driver (1981). My fiancé died by accidentally mixing pain medication with drugs and alcohol after an injury (1988). Tom, hit by a drunk driver (2009), and now Danny and his accident. I believe God is calling me to action…These kids are our future; we need to do something!

If I can save one person, one family, one mother the grief, it will be worth it…

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Question:

We found out our Fraternity Advisor’s “wife” is really a “husband”. They’ve been “married” for a number of years and he never acknowledged this. He always had an excuse about why his “wife” couldn’t attend formal functions – now it makes sense. How should we approach this? I know it “shouldn’t matter” his sexual preference, but it is definitely going to make the chapter uneasy. Advice on the situation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

It is very difficult to find a good fraternity advisor.  There are an infinite number of distractions in life that push fraternity brothers away from the chapter after graduation.

From the sounds of it, you have found an alumni brother who is active and involved.  You have found a guy who generously donates his time and attends your functions.  A good chapter advisor is very difficult to find, and you should feel fortunate you have one.

But if you and your brothers aren’t careful, you will push him away.

My advice is to remember that this guy is a brother.  Above that, he is a brother who has taken the ritual to heart and has chosen to give back long after most brothers fade away.  He should be given the utmost respect by the chapter.

If the chapter chooses to question or pass judgment on his lifestyle, then you guys are going to be the ones who lose out when you lose your chapter advisor.

It seems to me that your chapter has some growing up to do.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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Question:

My local fraternity has recently merged with a national Fraternity, Alpha Phi Delta. Now, as a new alumnus, I am on board with the change as well as 60 other alumni from our 15 years of existence. After this weekend we are becoming a Colony of theirs and there will be a waiting period of about a year before we became a chapter.

My question is…they told us there was no way to maintain our old letters to represent our chapter. We would have to go in their alphabetical order.

Has it been unheard of for a Colony to try and get an amendment passed to change the national constitution? I would like to try and give an argument and present our case in front of a board. We would like to represent our chapter with our former fraternity letters.

First off, congratulations on joining a national fraternity.  A national fraternity has the resources and support structure in place to ensure your fraternity will prosper for years to come.  I think that was a wise decision.

Regarding keeping your letters, you are unfortunately at the mercy of your new fraternity.  That being said, I don’t really see anything wrong with trying to keep your old letters as your chapter designation.  That is an important part of your chapters past.  It should be honored and remembered.

My suggestion is to get on the agenda with the fraternity’s governing board.  Plead your case with them.  Let them know why you would like the exception to their rule.  Let them know this is in no way trying to hold onto their old name.  It is just a way of remembering the chapter’s past.

I think reasonable men will agree and let you keep the letters as a chapter designation.  However, I still think you are coming out way ahead in the long run if they don’t.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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These questions were submitted by our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

Question: What are the biggest differences with fraternities in the north and the south?

Answer: Fraternities in the north are very good.  They excel at academics, athletics, social programs and philanthropy.  Fraternities in the south do all those things as well, and they do them much better.

Question:  I am the fundraising chair for my fraternity. We have around 27 guys in the house. We are looking for fundraising ideas that are fun to do and not just selling things. Do you have any ideas?

Answer: I have written about this topic extensively.  I suggest you start here – Fraternity Fundraising.  Also, you can check out all my fraternity fundraising articles here – Fraternity Fundraising Category.  Finally, don’t forget that there is a chapter in my book The Fraternity Leader titled How to Raise $40,000 for your fraternity.  I give detailed examples on how to run 20 different fundraisers to accomplish this goal.

Question: How to go about becoming a member of a fraternity that is not at my school?

Answer: I assume your question is really about re-starting the fraternity at your school.  To do so, the first step is sending their National HQ an email and let them know you are interested in starting a new colony.   They will be excited to hear from you.   To learn more – check out my article on How to Start a Fraternity.

Question: Can one be in a Fraternity and a varsity team?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What are some good fratty shorts and shirts that are acceptable that don’t carry the pricetag of Polo, Patagonia, Lacoste, etc.?

Answer: I think you are on the wrong website.  I am a mid-30s guy with two kids in diapers.  The last thing I know about is current fashion (ask my wife).  If anyone can help this guy out – please leave a comment below.

Question: Is it possible to join a fraternity with a felony?

Answer: I guess.  Of course, I am very curious as to what you did.  Let’s be honest, no one is going to ever check out your criminal record.  So if you keep it to yourself, then you will never have any issues.  However, that being said, I hope you get your shit together.  There is a hard way and an easy way to go through life.  Making big rocks into small ones is the hard way.

Question: Why does every fraternity symbol are written in Greek?

Back in the day – Latin Societies were popular.  Because men wanted to establish more ‘distinguished’ organizations, they developed fraternities represented by Greek Letters.

Question: How do you get a members membership revoked?

Answer: Every fraternity is different, but your national HQ is most likely the only one who can kick a brother out.  That being said, your local constitution should have provisions for RECOMMENDING expelling members clearly spelled out.

Question: What are good items or creative ways to have with your rush while tabling?

Answer:  The very best thing you can have with you at a rush table is a pen and pencil and a good attitude.  Your goal is to collect names.  Nothing more and nothing less.  You do that by being friendly, being approachable and being social.  Remember, your goal isn’t to land a new member at the table.  Your goal is to get a lead.  Spend your time gathering information.  You will follow up with the guys later. That is a key to a successful fraternity recruitment.

Question: I am rushing/pledging a fraternity at my current university, I would like to transfer schools in the near future. Is that possible?

Answer: When you join a fraternity – you make an oath for life.  You aren’t joining the chapter at your school – you are joining a national brotherhood.  If your new school has a chapter of your fraternity, you will be welcomed with open arms.  If it doesn’t, you can start one or you will be a brother without a chapter at your school.  Either way though, once you are initiated, you are always a brother.

——

If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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1) Phired Up

The Phired Up team is the best at teaching fraternity recruitment strategies.  They teach how to center your recruitment strategy around social excellence, which gives you the ability to recruit a higher caliber student.  I attended a Phired Up recruitment seminar led by Matt Mattson, and came away very impressed.  Matt was engaging and funny, and he taught the skills needed to succeed during recruitment.  While most didn’t realize it at the time, these are the same skills needed to succeed at life.  I highly recommend you check out Phired Up’s Blog and their book Good Guys: The Eight Steps to Limitless Possibility for Fraternity Recruitment.

2) The Hungry Student Leader

The Hungry Student Leader is TJ Sullivan’s blog.  TJ has been featured several times on TFA, including our review of his book Motivating the Middle.  TJ is the CEO of CAMPUSPEAK, the nation’s premier agency providing educational speakers and interactive workshops to the nation’s colleges and universities.  He has spoken to over 2 million students.  The most impressive aspect of his blog is how in touch he is with the issues of student leaders today.  His thoughts on leadership based on values is spot on, and is a must read for fraternity men.

3) Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values

The Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values (AFLV) is the showcase for cutting-edge Fraternity/Sorority programming, technology, thinking, and concepts.  I attended one of their conferences as an undergraduate, and I can attest that they are absolutely fantastic.  The AFLV resources page is a great place to stay abreast of Greek information.  It was a great honor to recently be featured in their newsletter, The Buzz, and I highly recommend you sign up for this free service.

4)  Fraternal Thoughts

Fraternal Thoughts is John Shertzer’s blog about fraternity and sorority life.  John is a former higher ed professional, and he uses those experiences to make his writing especially compelling.  Two of his recent posts, Answering the Call and Resolutions Revised are simply fantastic.  Both are written in an unorthodox way which holds your attention and drives the point home.

5) Fraternal Musings

Fraternal Musings is Jesse Koch’s blog which shares the lessons he learned in Greek Life as an undergraduate and advisor.  Jesse is currently a student development professional, and he is great at understanding the issues that current students face.  Jesse has been featured as a guest author on TFA, and wrote Flip That Switch last summer.

6) Greek Chat

Greek Chat is the most popular message board for fraternity men and sorority women.  Their forum has 131,000 registered members and they have dozens of boards where people are discussing numerous Greek Issues.  With almost 2 million posts, you are sure to find someone discussing something that interests you.

7)  Sure Sister Recruitment Blog

I know, you are probably wondering why I have Sure Sister, a sorority recruitment website, listed as a top fraternity website.  A few months ago I would have wondered the same thing.  But then, I noticed about 20% of the people who sign up for my newsletter are women.  I asked them why they are interested in fraternity news, and they told me that the lessons that apply to fraternity life also apply to sorority life.  I then realized it works the other way too. I highly suggest you check out their blog for recruitment tips.  Granted, a lot of the stuff won’t apply, but some of the recruitment advice will and can help you a great deal.

8 ) Purpose Driven Reflection

Purpose Driven Reflection is a blog by Kilo.  The site has very little information about the author and is unconventional with its format.  However, the content is absolutely first rate.  I am sure most of the fraternity world is not aware that this blog exists.   A lot of people are missing out.

9) Fraternityinfo.com

Fraternityinfo.com is run by the North American Inter-Fraternity Conference (NIC).  The NIC represents 75 national fraternities and promotes the fraternity experience with one, unified message.  Fraternityinfo.com is their blog which describes fraternity life to those looking to join.  The blog also gives great factual information that would interest any fraternity man.

10) Rate My Fraternity

Rate My Fraternity is a takeoff of the site Rate My Professor.  I know the owners of the site well and I know they get a ton of traffic from guys want to join a fraternity and learn more about the chapters they are interested in.  I highly suggest you take advantage of this free service to get some positive publicity for your chapter.

11) The Web Greek Blog

The Web Greek Blog is a newer blog by the guys over at Webgreek.  While the blog is fairly new, it contains some really solid content (including a few guest posts by me).  What really impresses me about these guys is how they use twitter to share information about the Greek/University world.  They are really in-tune with the university community are definitely worth following.

12) The Fraternity Advisor

I hope you agree that my site is a valuable resource for fraternity men.  The site will turn two next month, and I am continually amazed by its popularity.  We had over 300,000 visitors last year, and are on pace to shatter that mark this year.  I just want to give a sincere thank you to all those who follow and support the site.  It is very humbling to be followed by that many people, and very rewarding knowing that what I write is helping fraternity leaders everywhere.

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Question:

I am part of a local fraternity and as such our alumni base is limited and focused to this one chapter, as we only exist at our school. This is both a blessing, due to their loyalty the fraternity, and a curse, when more recent graduates decide to take advantage of our hospitality.

We’ve recently been struggling with the issue of members of the fraternity that are initiated, but do not graduate from the school. The academics themselves are rigorous and challenging so some initiated members have failed out, withdrawn, transferred, etc.

Issues then arise when they return to visit and expect the same level of respect and reverence an alumni that graduated from the college and has been a part of our alum association for 2, 4, or 5+ years. Typically they’ll return and then take advantage of an event we’re throwing and not donate, gift or contribute any assets to the event.

Some of these men, while we respect them and enjoy their company, occasionally have outstanding debt with the fraternity or just regularly take advantage without ever returning the favor, so to speak.
We’re unsure how to handle the matter, particularly when the members are our peers, of similar age, etc. and have done nothing to earn the status of alumni, the additional requirement being they did not graduate from the school.

This is an issue that even larger national and international fraternities face. I have seen this in my own fraternity and in other chapters where I went to school. They spend one year in the your fraternity, they can’t handle the school for various reasons (money, conduct, waking up before 11am for their 9am and 10am classes), then they keep coming back. These are also the guys that tend to be VERY negative influences on your newest and prospective members. Hopefully, these four tips can help you start dealing with these folks effectively.

1)      No pay, no stay

-          I help manage a housing complex, so this mantra is something I use all the time. Apply this to your chapter. These guys have outstanding balances. They owe you this money and probably have for a long time. When you have more formal events, have initiations, and alumni retreats, these guys do not get to come. It really is that simple. No pay, no invite. Granted, an incentive to pay all (or even most) of an outstanding balance may help you as well.

2)      Make it unpleasant when they come back

-          If these folks keep coming back, try looking at what enables them to come back and cause so many issues. Are they being enabled? Are there no real consequences or deterrents for them? You’d be surprised how many will stop coming if they don’t want to be annoyed / harassed / given flack while they are there. Remember, no one likes being asked “where’s my money” every single time you see them (see tip #1).

3)      Have a conversation

-          Where is the harm in this? Why not pull these yahoo’s aside and just have a civil conversation? You can even go out of your way to bring this group together and outline what is going on. Getting all hopped up about it isn’t always the best way to go about fixing the problem. Keep it level and keep it simple. You’d be surprised how this turns out.

4)      Chill out

-          Look at the last bit of #3. Stay calm. There are worse things. A lot of times these guys are still young a little bit wild, but will level out. It is inevitable. You can’t necessarily control what is going on with your alums, but you can more closely control what is going within the active chapter. Why waste your energy? Channel it towards what can do the most immediate good and have a more tangible impact. More positively contributing active members will lead to more positively contributing alumni.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

This answer was written by Joe Russo, an alumni brother from Phi Delta Theta and contributor for the thefraternityadvisor.com. If you are interested in writing for thefraternityadvisor.com – let us know (CLICK HERE)!

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Question:

I’m currently an undergraduate student at William and Mary, and I’m writing a column about changes in Greek housing. To give you a bit of background, W&M is transitioning its fraternity housing from the units, a complex of over a dozen, split-level dorms with 36 beds spread over 2.5 floors, to a new Greek Complex in 2013-14.

The units have been the home of fraternity life on campus for over 40 years, and as membership in fraternities has decreased, it is becoming harder and harder for chapters to fill their individual units. (Chapter size ranges from 20-80 members).

As there is a housing shortage at W&M, the administration started making fraternities pay for any vacancies in their units. This proved to be cost-prohibitive, so some fraternities resorted to sharing a unit, and others moved off-campus completely.

The new Greek complex will have only 17 beds per chapter house, which will obviously be easier for each individual chapter to fill.

So I had a couple questions about fraternity housing nationally:

Is this move towards less beds per chapter house part of a larger trend nationally?

The conventional wisdom, as I have heard it, is that the number of fraternity men has been steadily decreasing. Is this true?

Any other thoughts you have about this change?

Answer:

Fraternities were at their membership peak in the 70s.  Numbers have been in the decline ever since.  A lot of that is attributed to the boom in student population during/post Vietnam.  This is when a lot of universities built houses for their chapters.  Obviously they were built to house the chapters for the membership sizes they were back then.

Two things have happened since.  First, fraternity membership started to decline.  Second, the houses became old.  Houses from this era are now 40 years old, and have had a tough life.  Most need to be renovated or replaced.

Both of these things has had a profound impact on the health of the fraternity.  Chapter membership is down, and because of that they can’t fill their houses.  However, they still have to pay for the empty rooms, which is an extreme drain on chapter budgets.

Think about that impact.  More and more of the brotherhood dues are going to pay for empty rooms.  This means less funding for the programs the fraternity wants to have.

As a result, the fraternity has a tougher time during fraternity recruitment because they don’t have as much to show for the expense of the fraternity.  Membership numbers decrease even more, making this problem worse.

And let’s not forget that these old houses are becoming older by the day.  Students often have much ‘better’ living options out there, and living in the fraternity house is seen as a sacrifice.  This is obviously not a good situation for anyone involved.

I commend W&M for proactively addressing the issue with a housing plan that addresses the needs of their membership.  It looks like they are putting their chapters in a position to succeed, which they undoubtedly will.

I hope this becomes the trend on other campuses because the problems you are seeing at your school is common across the entire Greek Community.

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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Question:

We were recently voted on by IFC to become a recognized fraternity of our University. Unfortunately, they voted no. In my opinion, I think the voting went this way because they did not want to compete with us on campus. We have more members as a colony than the recognized fraternities, we have great philanthropy and we are good guys.

At this point I am concerned for my group because hearing no from IFC broke our hearts. We tried so hard to get to this point and now it feels like it’s for nothing. My question for you is, at this point, what kind of advice can you offer?

I feel we will be able to keep this going, but a lot of guys will drop because of the ruling. I want to keep everyone, but where do you think we should go from here?

I am real sorry to hear the ruling didn’t go your way.  I offer two solutions to your problem.

1 – How my Fraternity Handled this Same Situation

I joined a colony at NC State.  We applied to become members of IFC, and were shot down.

We were bummed.  However, we thought about it, and realized the only drawbacks were not being invited to participate in intramurals and Greek Week.  We were really bummed about intramurals, but didn’t really care about Greek Week.  All in all though, it wasn’t the end of the world.

On the positive side, we did not have to pay IFC dues or play by their rules.  As a result, we had parties during times when IFC prohibited it.  We did not have to attend IFC mandatory functions.  We pretty much did whatever we wanted and showed our ass in the process.

We parlayed this rebel attitude into a very successful year.  We had a ton of fun, and we bonded using the ‘us vs the world’ mentality.  Our brotherhood became very strong, and this was the foundation for years of success.

The next year though, the IFC realized that their organization would be better with us in it, and we were accepted.  Ironically, I become the IFC president a few years later.

That being said, this is the wrong approach.  There is a better way.

2 – How you Should Handle IFC Rejection

First, you need to have your nationals lay the groundwork for you getting accepted.  They need to have meeting with the Greek Life staff discussing what your chapter brings to the table and how to get accepted.  While the Greek Life director does not make the decision, they can definitely influence it.

Next, you need to have your chapter’s executive board have a meeting with the executive board of the IFC.  In this meeting, you need to explain that while you are disappointed you were not accepted, you appreciate them reviewing your fraternity.

Then, and this is key, you need to get them to give you guidelines that your chapter needs to meet to be considered for membership.  After the meeting, follow up with a letter documenting these requirements, and courtesy copy your nationals and the school’s Greek Life office.

Now, you have goals you need to accomplish.  Meet those goals, and then apply again.

While you are striving to meet these goals, be sure to build relationships along the way.  Become familiar with the Greek Life office, and ask for their guidance.  Participate in IFC events when allowed – especially community service events.

Also, become familiar with the other fraternities on campus.  Have your president reach out and meet with the presidents of other chapters.  During these meetings, your president should ask for advice on how to make your chapter stronger.  These conversations will lead to your fraternity having allies during the next vote.

If you do these things, you will be accepted into IFC without fail.  You will be accepted because you will have become part of their community.  You will no longer be viewed as an outsider.  They will see your fraternity as an asset to their organization, and you will be welcomed with open arms.

Don’t let this rejection get your fraternity down.  Use it as motivation to get better as an organization.  Being accepted into the IFC will be much sweeter for your brotherhood when you realize you have had to work hard to earn it.

Of course, ironically, a few short years from now your brothers will be complaining and want to quit IFC because they do not see the benefit.  That’s a talk for another day though…

This question was submitted by one of our readers. If you have a question you want me to answer go here to submit it: Fraternity Advice.

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